Great news.
I'm starting my own business, finally. It's exciting for sure, and a little bit intimidating. Okay, totally intimidating. I have a lot of little emotional saboteurs to get over, but really, I think we all do.
This blog will become one that focuses on my OWN health journey and is about my life. The blog is evolving as I am so I thought it only appropriate to let you know:-) The new blog all about health can be found here: www.ubuntuhealthnow.com/blog This blog will be LOADED with healthy, yummy, delicious information about how to live the best life ever. Even MORE than what appeared here, so hang on to your britches, it's time to jump into the universal flow of awesome.
On to other things. I can't believe it's been over a month since I posted here.
I COMPLETELY missed you. Seriously. I've thought about this blog, this little community we've created together here so often and yet, I couldn't bring myself back. I got stuck between this blog and the other one and so instead of over writing content, I didn't write anything. Has that ever happened to you? Getting paralyzed in the in-between. It's such a strange feeling.
AND, I have so much to tell you.
Do you remember that blog I wrote back in March/April about the universe telling me to quit my job(s) and to trust?! Well, the reason for it found me. I traveled to CA, CO, TX and then NY after I left my job April 15th. I had a one way ticket to New York after my Texas visit and I was really unsure about coming. I didn't know what it had in store for me. Everything seemed to align perfectly, however, so I came. I had a couch (the world's smallest...that ended up to be pretty comfy) to crash on, my friend Katie happened to be in town that SAME week between her Arizona and Italy travels, Jim was back in New Jersey and I had a little bit of money left. So, without a return ticket, I left straight away on a plane for New York.
I spent two weeks here and in the process, sort of ran out of money. One night, I was sitting in Border's on my computer looking for the Hippocrates Health Institute (which I thought was in NY) and found that it was in Flordia. Then the Institute for Integrative Nutrition POPPED into my head out of nowhere. I had found them years ago when I was looking for a nutrition school and so I checked out their website. They happened to be hiring. So, in an instant, I randomly applied.
I did not come to New York looking for a job or planning on moving out here.
I sent my application and resume in to the black whole of the internet world and went on a walk through Central Park with Katie. That was Thursday night.
Come Monday morning, I had an e-mail in my inbox asking me to take these extensive online tests and come to a group interview the following Thursday, 4 days before I was supposed to fly home to Arizona. So, I bought interview clothes and went.
There were 20 other people interviewed in person, all with tons of sales experience.
I left feeling like I had given it my all and would not be coming back to New York for that job.
A few days later, I received a call to do follow up interviews. I did 3 and then waited to hear back. A week later, I was offered a full time position and asked to move out to New York on June 30th, 15 days after I got the offer.
I sat on it for a few hours and decided that the synchronicity of the events was too much to ignore. That the universe had and HAS something in store for me in this huge, amazing city.
Now in New York, I'm having all sorts of experiences, including a wee bit of culture shock. I must admit that I thought that culture shock was for "the others" but it just so happens that it also happens to me.
Well loves, that's it for now. New York City stories coming shortly.
Mucho love love love love!!
Inspire!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Faaaaaaat.
It's crazy to me that just a few hundred years (probably way less than that) ago, being heavier was considered a very sexy trait for people, specifically women. It was a sign of abundance. So, darlings...let get back to it.
As you probably already know, fat is good for you. No, fat is CRITICAL for your body.
If you are working on a high raw lifestyle or just eating healthier in general, make sure to get your dose of amazing fats!
Here are a couple lovely ideas:
As you probably already know, fat is good for you. No, fat is CRITICAL for your body.
If you are working on a high raw lifestyle or just eating healthier in general, make sure to get your dose of amazing fats!
Here are a couple lovely ideas:
- Avocados
- Coconut butter (raw)
- Raw goats/cows milk
- Raw goats/cows cheese
- Oils-olive, hemp, flax, coconut
- Olives
- Nuts (always soak them for 2 hours before eating!)
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Cholesterol
It's bad.
OR IS IT? When we hear the word cholesterol, it's almost as if we have to label it the "C"-word, something dirty not to be spoken about.
This subject has confused me for a long time, so I thought it a good idea to start asking the people I trust and looking into unbiased resources.
DEFINING Cholesterol (Taken & summarized from E-Health MD):
I brought this information to someone I've been seeing for years who does body adjustments (has 5 degrees and 30 years of study into Chinese Medicine) and asked what he had to say about cholesterol. He added to this that the reason the body is producing the extra cholesterol is because it is trying to cover up internal "wounds" heal parts of the body that have been damaged by oxidation and free radicals. The body is always trying to heal itself.
So, now we know what cholesterol is, but how do we "lower" it?
The best place to start is by adding massive amounts of fruits and veggies into your diet, fresh juices & smoothies. Cut out red meat and alcohol, refined sugar & refined flour & drink plenty of spring water. If you have questions on this, don't hesitate, I would love to chat about it further!
Great resources to check out:
Dr. Mercola on Cholesterol
Fats That Heal, Fats That Kill- BOOK
Hats off to healing!
I love love love love you!
OR IS IT? When we hear the word cholesterol, it's almost as if we have to label it the "C"-word, something dirty not to be spoken about.
This subject has confused me for a long time, so I thought it a good idea to start asking the people I trust and looking into unbiased resources.
DEFINING Cholesterol (Taken & summarized from E-Health MD):
Cholesterol is a waxy, fat-like substance that is made in the body by the liver. Cholesterol forms part of every cell in the body and serves many vital functions. Our bodies need cholesterol to:
- Maintain healthy cell walls
- Make
hormones (the body's chemical messengers) - Make vitamin D
- Make bile acids, which aid in fat digestion
Sometimes, however, our bodies make more cholesterol than we really need, and this excess cholesterol circulates in the bloodstream. High levels of cholesterol in the blood can clog blood vessels and increase the risk for heart disease and stroke.
- Our bodies can make too much cholesterol when we eat too much saturated fat - the kind of fat found in animal-based foods such as meat and dairy products.
I brought this information to someone I've been seeing for years who does body adjustments (has 5 degrees and 30 years of study into Chinese Medicine) and asked what he had to say about cholesterol. He added to this that the reason the body is producing the extra cholesterol is because it is trying to cover up internal "wounds" heal parts of the body that have been damaged by oxidation and free radicals. The body is always trying to heal itself.
So, now we know what cholesterol is, but how do we "lower" it?
The best place to start is by adding massive amounts of fruits and veggies into your diet, fresh juices & smoothies. Cut out red meat and alcohol, refined sugar & refined flour & drink plenty of spring water. If you have questions on this, don't hesitate, I would love to chat about it further!
Great resources to check out:
Dr. Mercola on Cholesterol
Fats That Heal, Fats That Kill- BOOK
Hats off to healing!
I love love love love you!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Weight Loss, Fruit & Happiness
Summer is HERE! Who's excited?
I'm so amazed at the wonder of life and the way it has been flowing. I can't believe it's been so long since my last blog post, which wasn't even about food.
So, let's make this one juicy, baby.
A quick update about life:
*I've spent almost two weeks in the big APPLE & I just so happen to LOVE New York City. After 2 years of dreaming about it, I ate at Pure Food & Wine (the famous NYC Raw restaurant).
*I spent a week in Austin, TX with some of the most AMAZING people I've ever met. It changed my life. I "grew up" in the BEST way possible that week through insights, vision and support.
*Things have never been better.
*I NOW WEAR BETWEEN A SIZE 4 and SIZE 6!!!!! (Okay, this is sort of huge news for me because, as you know, I started the beginning of the year feeling icky...and funny enough, my secret is NOT eating ALL raw food)
So...WHAT IS the secret to going from a size 10 to a size 4-6 (depending on the brand) in 5 months without dieting AND keeping it off? Do you really want to know? Are you sure? Because once you know, you know and there is no going back.
Okay, well since you insisted...I'll tell you;-)
There are 3 main components:
1. Telling people I'm having "the best day ever" or that "I'm amazing" every time they ask. Not only that, but faking it if I'm not feeling great. Some might call that lying, but to me, it's just a sneaky way to trick my mind into being happy. The thing is that the subconscious mind does not know the difference between outer and inner reality. So, if you are outwardly expressing that you are crazy happy, you will become crazy happy and happy emotions help regulate hormones.
2. Eating loads of fruit. Depending on what I'm craving, I enjoy lots of fruit during the day and especially 30 minutes before meals.
3. Giving. I went to the Ghirardelli store to buy chocolates last week in NYC and randomly started handing out chocolates to the security guards at Rockefeller Center. After I offered one of the guards chocolate and he took it, he said to me, "Ma'am, is there something I can do for you?" And I replied with "No, I just saw you standing here when I was walking into the chocolate shop and wanted to bring you a chocolate." (And that's true). So he was like, "oh, wow" and then asked me lots of random questions about my life. Like, where are you from and what are you doing in NYC, etc. At the end of the conversation, he apologized for asking so many random questions and was like, "gosh, no one has ever just brought me chocolate before for no reason, thank you."
I believe the reason giving has helped me lose weight, is because my focus has shifted from being all about me, to adding massive value to other people's lives. From handing out chocolate to helping someone find there way in NYC, I've found how important it is to bring your gifts and talents to the world. You absolutely know more than someone else about something...so share it!
Favorite juice of the moment:
*Pink lady apples
*Carrots
*Spinach
Juiced and ENJOYED!!!
QUOTE of the moment (on a huge Nike billboard sign): "PLAY TO BE REMEMBERED. WRITE THE FUTURE."
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE EVOL YOU!
I'm so amazed at the wonder of life and the way it has been flowing. I can't believe it's been so long since my last blog post, which wasn't even about food.
So, let's make this one juicy, baby.
A quick update about life:
*I've spent almost two weeks in the big APPLE & I just so happen to LOVE New York City. After 2 years of dreaming about it, I ate at Pure Food & Wine (the famous NYC Raw restaurant).
*I spent a week in Austin, TX with some of the most AMAZING people I've ever met. It changed my life. I "grew up" in the BEST way possible that week through insights, vision and support.
*Things have never been better.
*I NOW WEAR BETWEEN A SIZE 4 and SIZE 6!!!!! (Okay, this is sort of huge news for me because, as you know, I started the beginning of the year feeling icky...and funny enough, my secret is NOT eating ALL raw food)
So...WHAT IS the secret to going from a size 10 to a size 4-6 (depending on the brand) in 5 months without dieting AND keeping it off? Do you really want to know? Are you sure? Because once you know, you know and there is no going back.
Okay, well since you insisted...I'll tell you;-)
There are 3 main components:
1. Telling people I'm having "the best day ever" or that "I'm amazing" every time they ask. Not only that, but faking it if I'm not feeling great. Some might call that lying, but to me, it's just a sneaky way to trick my mind into being happy. The thing is that the subconscious mind does not know the difference between outer and inner reality. So, if you are outwardly expressing that you are crazy happy, you will become crazy happy and happy emotions help regulate hormones.
2. Eating loads of fruit. Depending on what I'm craving, I enjoy lots of fruit during the day and especially 30 minutes before meals.
3. Giving. I went to the Ghirardelli store to buy chocolates last week in NYC and randomly started handing out chocolates to the security guards at Rockefeller Center. After I offered one of the guards chocolate and he took it, he said to me, "Ma'am, is there something I can do for you?" And I replied with "No, I just saw you standing here when I was walking into the chocolate shop and wanted to bring you a chocolate." (And that's true). So he was like, "oh, wow" and then asked me lots of random questions about my life. Like, where are you from and what are you doing in NYC, etc. At the end of the conversation, he apologized for asking so many random questions and was like, "gosh, no one has ever just brought me chocolate before for no reason, thank you."
I believe the reason giving has helped me lose weight, is because my focus has shifted from being all about me, to adding massive value to other people's lives. From handing out chocolate to helping someone find there way in NYC, I've found how important it is to bring your gifts and talents to the world. You absolutely know more than someone else about something...so share it!
Favorite juice of the moment:
*Pink lady apples
*Carrots
*Spinach
Juiced and ENJOYED!!!
QUOTE of the moment (on a huge Nike billboard sign): "PLAY TO BE REMEMBERED. WRITE THE FUTURE."
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE EVOL YOU!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Now or Next Week
What is with procrastination?
Seriously.
I was listening to a millionaire success recording, hosted by Ali Brown and her billionaire mentor, when she really caught my attention. She said that procrastination is one of our ways of punishing ourselves & it promotes and reiterates our "poor"/broke mentality. It makes sense, but that doesn't make it any less annoying. It makes sense because we now have an out. We can make the excuse that "we didn't have enough time to do XYZ" or that "it just didn't work out in my favor."
Really though. Let's get over ourselves and step it up. It doesn't serve anyone, especially ourselves, to play small now or EVER.
The good news is, it's all in the mind AND Healthy mind--healthy habits. It's time to make a little deal with ourselves. What's great is that the neuro-pathways in your brain can be re-routed to conduct new actions & create anything you want, but it takes a wee bit o' work.
In order to maximize your brain ka-POWER, set your phone alarm for sometime in the day when you can take a one minute vacation. During this one minute, take deep breaths & just imagine what you want in your life. Maybe you want to leave procrastination out in the rain and enjoy a nice cup o' hot tea with your work. Imagine it happening. Imagine your boss (or maybe you're your own boss) congratulating you on going above and beyond with this work. Imagine a pay raise, wild success & less stress. In fact, the stress has left the building all together.
When the minute is up, forget about it and go back to what you were doing. Try it, magic may happen.
**Secret**: You can apply this to anything in your life. I have my phone alarm set for 4am, when I get up to meditate, 10am, 2pm & 6pm for my 1 minute vacations. It's soooo YUMMY and it's actually a lot of fun to sit and imagine exactly what you want.
Enjoy, in joy.
Just for today, munch on an apple with some melted coconut oil, grade B organic maple syrup & raw cacao!!
I love love loVE love you.
Seriously.
I was listening to a millionaire success recording, hosted by Ali Brown and her billionaire mentor, when she really caught my attention. She said that procrastination is one of our ways of punishing ourselves & it promotes and reiterates our "poor"/broke mentality. It makes sense, but that doesn't make it any less annoying. It makes sense because we now have an out. We can make the excuse that "we didn't have enough time to do XYZ" or that "it just didn't work out in my favor."
Really though. Let's get over ourselves and step it up. It doesn't serve anyone, especially ourselves, to play small now or EVER.
The good news is, it's all in the mind AND Healthy mind--healthy habits. It's time to make a little deal with ourselves. What's great is that the neuro-pathways in your brain can be re-routed to conduct new actions & create anything you want, but it takes a wee bit o' work.
In order to maximize your brain ka-POWER, set your phone alarm for sometime in the day when you can take a one minute vacation. During this one minute, take deep breaths & just imagine what you want in your life. Maybe you want to leave procrastination out in the rain and enjoy a nice cup o' hot tea with your work. Imagine it happening. Imagine your boss (or maybe you're your own boss) congratulating you on going above and beyond with this work. Imagine a pay raise, wild success & less stress. In fact, the stress has left the building all together.
When the minute is up, forget about it and go back to what you were doing. Try it, magic may happen.
**Secret**: You can apply this to anything in your life. I have my phone alarm set for 4am, when I get up to meditate, 10am, 2pm & 6pm for my 1 minute vacations. It's soooo YUMMY and it's actually a lot of fun to sit and imagine exactly what you want.
Enjoy, in joy.
Just for today, munch on an apple with some melted coconut oil, grade B organic maple syrup & raw cacao!!
I love love loVE love you.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
the Conversation.
It's interesting. I'm in Silverton, CO this week and the conversations with family and such have been amazing.
The theme seems to be that "everyone is on their own rocket ship" (aka journey) and no one else has the right to judge it. It resonates even though it's sometimes a hard thing to grasp as we all want to help each other or save the planet or something of the like.
This concept seems pertinent further than the arena of friends & family but into the business world too. Sometimes, some people should NOT be sold something because on their journey it's not right for them at that time & they might actually end up resenting the purchase. In the end, that creates unproductive energy towards your mission and business.
The conversation has also, naturally, been about food. The ultimate in health, what does that look like and what does one eat. I'm finding it to still be one of the most pressing and confusing questions that exists. What DO you eat? When? Where & actually, WHY do you eat? To live or to satiate emotions? How do you get back to following your intuition?
The other portion of the conversations have been about personal & professional relationships & of course, the law of attraction & mind mastery. The curious thing about personal relationships is how to nurture & foster them. Each person makes an observation about the other. They require honesty and the willingness to flow. It takes intuition & staying in your own personal power. They are important & beyond all else, necessary. Are professional relationships the same? I tend to believe so in most circumstances.
Currently seeking all the answers to these questions & will return shortly with those;-)
I love love love love you.
The theme seems to be that "everyone is on their own rocket ship" (aka journey) and no one else has the right to judge it. It resonates even though it's sometimes a hard thing to grasp as we all want to help each other or save the planet or something of the like.
This concept seems pertinent further than the arena of friends & family but into the business world too. Sometimes, some people should NOT be sold something because on their journey it's not right for them at that time & they might actually end up resenting the purchase. In the end, that creates unproductive energy towards your mission and business.
The conversation has also, naturally, been about food. The ultimate in health, what does that look like and what does one eat. I'm finding it to still be one of the most pressing and confusing questions that exists. What DO you eat? When? Where & actually, WHY do you eat? To live or to satiate emotions? How do you get back to following your intuition?
The other portion of the conversations have been about personal & professional relationships & of course, the law of attraction & mind mastery. The curious thing about personal relationships is how to nurture & foster them. Each person makes an observation about the other. They require honesty and the willingness to flow. It takes intuition & staying in your own personal power. They are important & beyond all else, necessary. Are professional relationships the same? I tend to believe so in most circumstances.
Currently seeking all the answers to these questions & will return shortly with those;-)
I love love love love you.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Sex & Consciousness
Hello Gorgeous!
As you probably already know, I was introduced to the concept of sacred sexuality back in December. Like RAW food, I was like wait...THAT exists?
I immediately wanted to learn more. As I had understood sex from a young age was that a man and woman have vaginal intercourse, the guy ejaculates, the female might orgasm but most don't or they fake it, which is totally acceptable, and then you move on with your life. Sometimes it's enjoyable and you don't sleep with more than one person at a time. You don't cheat. These are the rules. Play by them or be called a slut.
Seriously though, is that ALL sex is?
Have you ever questioned your view of sex?
Because mine is completely different than it was 6 months ago. Completely.
This weekend I'm spending in Sedona at a conference called Sex & Consciousness. It's about being present when you are with someone, admiring them, enjoying their energy. Having a mutual exchange of love. Bringing in the love. It might sound rather "out there" but the essence of it all is love. Just love. Universal & personal.
Let me tell you, there have been plenty of uncomfortable instances this weekend in learning and meeting people who teach tantra (& help people heal sexually) but the overall experience has opened up my entire being to new possibilities. It's amazing how "stuck" our culture is sexually...and it's really sad.
When I started to think about it, we really are a culture & specifically a generation wedged between a hugely profitable porn industry and our "little" selves that are supposed to be great at sex, look sexy and know exactly what we're doing even though we haven't been taught and the main connections we experience are through the computer or with our cell phones. I don't judge this, but it is our current reality and I think it's really important to look at.
Let me ask you, could you sit facing your love and look deep into their eyes for 5 minutes, 30 seconds even? Could you hug them, your head to the right of theirs (heart to heart), fully pressing your body to theirs and breathe with them?
Today, I had the most awakening experience. I was in a class and we did a partner exercise. We were sitting in chairs across from each other and looked at each other eye to eye. Then, this person took my hands and admired them. He sat there and looked at them, tracing the lines, feeling the fingers and just enjoyed my hands. We were told to breathe together, so we did. As I breathed in, so did he and as I let go, as did he. That was it. We closed, said Namaste and listened to the teacher again. It was sensual.
My hands felt like they were pure light. They felt gorgeous, loved & I felt so safe. Safe to express myself as Terra Rose, safe as a human being. Why? Because he WANTED to be there looking at my hands. There was no time limit, there were no expectations, it was just pure timelessness in a timed world. Pure love for the whole of humanity being focused on the lines of my hands.
Reconnect.
I love love love love you.
As you probably already know, I was introduced to the concept of sacred sexuality back in December. Like RAW food, I was like wait...THAT exists?
I immediately wanted to learn more. As I had understood sex from a young age was that a man and woman have vaginal intercourse, the guy ejaculates, the female might orgasm but most don't or they fake it, which is totally acceptable, and then you move on with your life. Sometimes it's enjoyable and you don't sleep with more than one person at a time. You don't cheat. These are the rules. Play by them or be called a slut.
Seriously though, is that ALL sex is?
Have you ever questioned your view of sex?
Because mine is completely different than it was 6 months ago. Completely.
This weekend I'm spending in Sedona at a conference called Sex & Consciousness. It's about being present when you are with someone, admiring them, enjoying their energy. Having a mutual exchange of love. Bringing in the love. It might sound rather "out there" but the essence of it all is love. Just love. Universal & personal.
Let me tell you, there have been plenty of uncomfortable instances this weekend in learning and meeting people who teach tantra (& help people heal sexually) but the overall experience has opened up my entire being to new possibilities. It's amazing how "stuck" our culture is sexually...and it's really sad.
When I started to think about it, we really are a culture & specifically a generation wedged between a hugely profitable porn industry and our "little" selves that are supposed to be great at sex, look sexy and know exactly what we're doing even though we haven't been taught and the main connections we experience are through the computer or with our cell phones. I don't judge this, but it is our current reality and I think it's really important to look at.
Let me ask you, could you sit facing your love and look deep into their eyes for 5 minutes, 30 seconds even? Could you hug them, your head to the right of theirs (heart to heart), fully pressing your body to theirs and breathe with them?
Today, I had the most awakening experience. I was in a class and we did a partner exercise. We were sitting in chairs across from each other and looked at each other eye to eye. Then, this person took my hands and admired them. He sat there and looked at them, tracing the lines, feeling the fingers and just enjoyed my hands. We were told to breathe together, so we did. As I breathed in, so did he and as I let go, as did he. That was it. We closed, said Namaste and listened to the teacher again. It was sensual.
My hands felt like they were pure light. They felt gorgeous, loved & I felt so safe. Safe to express myself as Terra Rose, safe as a human being. Why? Because he WANTED to be there looking at my hands. There was no time limit, there were no expectations, it was just pure timelessness in a timed world. Pure love for the whole of humanity being focused on the lines of my hands.
Reconnect.
I love love love love you.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Brain-Power
I was spending a gorgeous CA evening with one of the most amazing people I know (besides you of course!) and we got to talking about the subject of health. Surprise, surprise.
He told me that he had changed a few things in his life and has never felt more confident, grounded & at peace. SHARE was the first thing out of my mouth, as who doesn't want to feel this way?!
He noted that he had been eating hemp seeds (about a cup) with coconut oil. It activates your brain because you get the necessary DHA you need. The coconut oil increases the absorption rate of the DHA from 5% to 10%. A cup of this stuff at one time is a lot, but start wherever you please!
The other thing he shared was that he has totally dedicated himself to re-mineralizing his body. If you read or watch David Wolfe at all, you know that the single best thing you can do for your body is to remineralize it. So many, if not all bodily systems in one form or another, run on electrical impulses which rely on minerals. So he has been putting red & black Hawaiian salt in his water, Himilayian salt & using trace minerals.
Wa-la! Simplicity with amazing results. I've started mineralizing more heavily & trying out the brain power food. So far, so love it!
Enjoy.
Shall we dream together baby? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_km0u64OLng
----------
"There will be times in life when you learn people never believed in you. The important thing now lies only in your relationship with self & your ability to believe in your ability & dreams above all else."
I love love love love you!
He told me that he had changed a few things in his life and has never felt more confident, grounded & at peace. SHARE was the first thing out of my mouth, as who doesn't want to feel this way?!
He noted that he had been eating hemp seeds (about a cup) with coconut oil. It activates your brain because you get the necessary DHA you need. The coconut oil increases the absorption rate of the DHA from 5% to 10%. A cup of this stuff at one time is a lot, but start wherever you please!
The other thing he shared was that he has totally dedicated himself to re-mineralizing his body. If you read or watch David Wolfe at all, you know that the single best thing you can do for your body is to remineralize it. So many, if not all bodily systems in one form or another, run on electrical impulses which rely on minerals. So he has been putting red & black Hawaiian salt in his water, Himilayian salt & using trace minerals.
Wa-la! Simplicity with amazing results. I've started mineralizing more heavily & trying out the brain power food. So far, so love it!
Enjoy.
Shall we dream together baby? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_km0u64OLng
----------
"There will be times in life when you learn people never believed in you. The important thing now lies only in your relationship with self & your ability to believe in your ability & dreams above all else."
I love love love love you!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I AM a Millionaire
I decided today that I live the best life ever. No, seriously, like THE BEST.
Not only that, but I will decide that day after day after day for the rest of my life. Why? Why the hell not?! Seriously, would you rather decide that you live the best life ever with a few things maybe out of place or something other than the best ever and let those little things define you. That's what I thought;-)
So, I decided that while living the best life ever, I'm also a millionaire. Right now, I'm a millionaire in my mind, in my heart and the pocket book will quickly follow suit.
This evening, I started acting like a millionaire too. What would a millionaire do? I don't know for sure, but I know how this millionaire acts.
So, I washed my dishes. Millionaires do not like clutter, it clutters their minds.
I did laundry & actually folded it. Millionaires look nice (generally).
I sat on my balcony, ate my home made meal and watched the sun set, listened to the birds tweet & thought about how grateful I am. Because realistically, that's what millionaires do.
Tonight, I am making plans, preparing website content, packing for my upcoming trips & writing my second ever business check for the most amazing business cards. Because really, that's what this millionaire does.
More millionaire doings soon. I'd love to know how you act like a millionaire so I can play like you too!!
The point is, fake it until you make it..that's what mama always said!
I love love love love YOU!
Not only that, but I will decide that day after day after day for the rest of my life. Why? Why the hell not?! Seriously, would you rather decide that you live the best life ever with a few things maybe out of place or something other than the best ever and let those little things define you. That's what I thought;-)
So, I decided that while living the best life ever, I'm also a millionaire. Right now, I'm a millionaire in my mind, in my heart and the pocket book will quickly follow suit.
This evening, I started acting like a millionaire too. What would a millionaire do? I don't know for sure, but I know how this millionaire acts.
So, I washed my dishes. Millionaires do not like clutter, it clutters their minds.
I did laundry & actually folded it. Millionaires look nice (generally).
I sat on my balcony, ate my home made meal and watched the sun set, listened to the birds tweet & thought about how grateful I am. Because realistically, that's what millionaires do.
Tonight, I am making plans, preparing website content, packing for my upcoming trips & writing my second ever business check for the most amazing business cards. Because really, that's what this millionaire does.
More millionaire doings soon. I'd love to know how you act like a millionaire so I can play like you too!!
The point is, fake it until you make it..that's what mama always said!
I love love love love YOU!
Emotional RE: Lease
Up until two days ago, I thought I had a pretty good grasp on my emotional body. I never blew up at people, never really broke down crying and felt that I had pretty well "mastered my emotions", as I've read so many times in spiritual books, etc.
Well.
I was presented with the very real possibility that not only did I not have a grasp on my emotions but I was just completely ignoring them, shut off cold to them and had decided to go on my merry little way as if life was de bubbles.
Turns out, I had quite a few emotions to express, one being anger and the other being the F-word. Okay, well I guess the F-word is not an emotion, but I'd like to suggest it be added as one. So, after a huge argument, the first one in a very long time, I cried, beat my pillow, screamed, laid down on the floor punching & kicking, got back up and did it all over again. It was very lady like. NOT.
But when I was finished, I felt so free. I was no longer "angry at" the person (which I don't believe you are ever truly angry at anyone, they just happen to push your buttons of sensitivity and you react, or in my case, don't) and I had one of the most productive days of my life.
Not only that, a lot of my self sabotage was gone. I don't attribute it all to my emotional release because I spent the weekend in CA healing with BodyTalk but it was the icing on the cake and probably even a few of the ingredients.
So, I'm grateful. And the lesson is simply that if you feel mad, get mad. Tell the other person you're angry. Not at them, because really no matter what they do, you're not mad at them, you're really just mad. If you're sad, cry. If you're happier than heck, laugh until you pee your pants. It's HEALTHY to express emotions...little did I know;-)
I love love love love you!
Well.
I was presented with the very real possibility that not only did I not have a grasp on my emotions but I was just completely ignoring them, shut off cold to them and had decided to go on my merry little way as if life was de bubbles.
Turns out, I had quite a few emotions to express, one being anger and the other being the F-word. Okay, well I guess the F-word is not an emotion, but I'd like to suggest it be added as one. So, after a huge argument, the first one in a very long time, I cried, beat my pillow, screamed, laid down on the floor punching & kicking, got back up and did it all over again. It was very lady like. NOT.
But when I was finished, I felt so free. I was no longer "angry at" the person (which I don't believe you are ever truly angry at anyone, they just happen to push your buttons of sensitivity and you react, or in my case, don't) and I had one of the most productive days of my life.
Not only that, a lot of my self sabotage was gone. I don't attribute it all to my emotional release because I spent the weekend in CA healing with BodyTalk but it was the icing on the cake and probably even a few of the ingredients.
So, I'm grateful. And the lesson is simply that if you feel mad, get mad. Tell the other person you're angry. Not at them, because really no matter what they do, you're not mad at them, you're really just mad. If you're sad, cry. If you're happier than heck, laugh until you pee your pants. It's HEALTHY to express emotions...little did I know;-)
I love love love love you!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Diving in.
I finished the most amazing run along Manhattan Beach in CA just before the sun was getting ready to set.
Jacque and I finished and we took our shoes off so our toes could indulge in the sand. A few moments later, the swollen feet relaxed into the chilled water and my entire body felt ecstatic. As we were standing there, Jacque said to me, "It's amazing all the life that is just under there. When I went snorkeling for the first time last year, I saw all this life right when I dove in, just below the surface."
Then she turned and faced me and said, "You don't really know what exists in life until you dive in and get below the surface."
Jacque and I finished and we took our shoes off so our toes could indulge in the sand. A few moments later, the swollen feet relaxed into the chilled water and my entire body felt ecstatic. As we were standing there, Jacque said to me, "It's amazing all the life that is just under there. When I went snorkeling for the first time last year, I saw all this life right when I dove in, just below the surface."
Then she turned and faced me and said, "You don't really know what exists in life until you dive in and get below the surface."
Clarity on Day 1 Video
Friends!!
Just to clarify, the fruit you choose should be eaten throughout the day, not all at once, unless you feel drawn to do that.
So, for example, Shannon picked oranges. (Yum!) So, she would munch on an orange first thing in the morning before breakfast, 30 minutes before lunch and 30 minutes before dinner. If this feels to complicated or like it is too much to keep track of right now, just eat 3 pieces of fruit everyday...
ENJOY in joy!!
Love love love love!!
Just to clarify, the fruit you choose should be eaten throughout the day, not all at once, unless you feel drawn to do that.
So, for example, Shannon picked oranges. (Yum!) So, she would munch on an orange first thing in the morning before breakfast, 30 minutes before lunch and 30 minutes before dinner. If this feels to complicated or like it is too much to keep track of right now, just eat 3 pieces of fruit everyday...
ENJOY in joy!!
Love love love love!!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Beautiful Disgusting Duality
I used to hate the duality that lived inside of me. I wanted to simply live in the woods without a possession to my name. The next minute, I wanted to build a business empire and become one of the most successful entrepreneurs of all time.
This duality ate at me. It made me feel unworthy of life because it was as if I was two people wanting two different things & it was impossible to have them both. It felt as though I had a split personality or that I was simply crazy for not being able to make up my mind.
But then. Night & day, black & white, up & down, dark & light came knocking at my door and when I answered, I saw them as equal opposites. None of them are unworthy of existing and without one, the other would not exist. If you didn't have light, we wouldn't know that it was dark, it would just BE. So, without the dualities of having and not having or success by one definition or another compared to non-societal success of living in the middle of nowhere, I would not be able to define my existence.
So, the beautiful realization that inside me exists one of the fundamental powers of life came: duality or, the ability to be multi-faceted, the gift of human life.
Yes.
Love love love love.
Friday, April 23, 2010
10 Things You'll LOVE Knowing
Hey Sugar!
I haven't written in awhile again...so I wanted to give you a wee little gift for being here today and reading...seriously, I'm so grateful for you.
In fact, I LOVE YOU, but... that will be OUR little secret, okay?
Or you can tell the whole world, whatever.
10 Things You'll LOVE to Know
1. Before you plant a seed in your garden, hold it under your tongue in your saliva for a bit. This activates the seed and gives the plant your genetic makeup. This allows the plant to grow according to your needs & help your body heal. HELLO COOL!
2. Your skin contains natural light sensors. When you sleep, make sure it is totally dark & quiet. This will give your body a chance to completely relax and go through its natural healing and repair routine during the night. Even little lights can create excess stress in the body.
3. Laughing heals.
4. Deep breathing creates a "scanning effect" in your body. When you breathe deep, into the bottom of your lungs, your brain scans your entire body and your energetic body for any dis-harmonies. Once it finds them, it will begin to repair it right away.
5. Adding (a pinch) of sea salt (Himalayan or Celtic) to every liter of water will help to activate your DNA. It will pull water into your cells, helping you hydrate and re-mineralize your body!
6. Writing down things you're grateful for actually brings them into your life. If you don't believe me, try it. One day I wrote down, "I found a place to live and I'm sooo grateful for it!" 6 hours later, I had the PERFECT place to live...AND I'm not even exaggerating;-)
7. All water is NOT created equal. Not even close. Here are the DO NOT's: Drink tap, drink straight well water (unless it has been tested for low calcium), drink calcium enhanced water, drink bottled water, use cheap filtration systems. DO: find a spring near you and fill up with spring water, purchase Mountain Spring Water from Whole Foods or purchase a great water filtration system that alkalizes your water. THIS IS SO CRITICAL! Tap water in AZ is some of the WORST and is loaded with parasites. (A whole water post coming soon for you!!)
8. Every cell, atom & system in your body is ALWAYS in constant communication. One can not move without knowing what all the others are doing. On this note, joy is the highest frequency emotion...SO, if you feel joy...it will resonate throughout your entire body & "raise the vibration" of your cells...helping your body heal.
9. Balancing your cortices is an amazing technique to help reduce stress, increase mental clarity & focus and keep your body in a state where it can heal itself constantly.
10. Eating a piece of fruit 30 minutes before every meal will keep your blood sugar from crashing & greatly enhance digestion!
Bonus #11. Having the best day ever...is the best;-)
Love. love LOVE love:-)
*Some of this information comes from the BodyMind Institute Level 1 Nutrition Certification or from The BodyTalk System. I am a Certified BodyTalk Practitioner & working towards my Level 1 Nutrition Certification & RAW Foods Certification*
I haven't written in awhile again...so I wanted to give you a wee little gift for being here today and reading...seriously, I'm so grateful for you.
In fact, I LOVE YOU, but... that will be OUR little secret, okay?
Or you can tell the whole world, whatever.
10 Things You'll LOVE to Know
1. Before you plant a seed in your garden, hold it under your tongue in your saliva for a bit. This activates the seed and gives the plant your genetic makeup. This allows the plant to grow according to your needs & help your body heal. HELLO COOL!
2. Your skin contains natural light sensors. When you sleep, make sure it is totally dark & quiet. This will give your body a chance to completely relax and go through its natural healing and repair routine during the night. Even little lights can create excess stress in the body.
3. Laughing heals.
4. Deep breathing creates a "scanning effect" in your body. When you breathe deep, into the bottom of your lungs, your brain scans your entire body and your energetic body for any dis-harmonies. Once it finds them, it will begin to repair it right away.
5. Adding (a pinch) of sea salt (Himalayan or Celtic) to every liter of water will help to activate your DNA. It will pull water into your cells, helping you hydrate and re-mineralize your body!
6. Writing down things you're grateful for actually brings them into your life. If you don't believe me, try it. One day I wrote down, "I found a place to live and I'm sooo grateful for it!" 6 hours later, I had the PERFECT place to live...AND I'm not even exaggerating;-)
7. All water is NOT created equal. Not even close. Here are the DO NOT's: Drink tap, drink straight well water (unless it has been tested for low calcium), drink calcium enhanced water, drink bottled water, use cheap filtration systems. DO: find a spring near you and fill up with spring water, purchase Mountain Spring Water from Whole Foods or purchase a great water filtration system that alkalizes your water. THIS IS SO CRITICAL! Tap water in AZ is some of the WORST and is loaded with parasites. (A whole water post coming soon for you!!)
8. Every cell, atom & system in your body is ALWAYS in constant communication. One can not move without knowing what all the others are doing. On this note, joy is the highest frequency emotion...SO, if you feel joy...it will resonate throughout your entire body & "raise the vibration" of your cells...helping your body heal.
9. Balancing your cortices is an amazing technique to help reduce stress, increase mental clarity & focus and keep your body in a state where it can heal itself constantly.
10. Eating a piece of fruit 30 minutes before every meal will keep your blood sugar from crashing & greatly enhance digestion!
Bonus #11. Having the best day ever...is the best;-)
Love. love LOVE love:-)
*Some of this information comes from the BodyMind Institute Level 1 Nutrition Certification or from The BodyTalk System. I am a Certified BodyTalk Practitioner & working towards my Level 1 Nutrition Certification & RAW Foods Certification*
Thursday, April 15, 2010
an energetic matrix.
I stood in the middle of Changing Hands last week with a fully loaded debit card from my last pay check and didn't want to buy a single thing. Not-a-one.
My awareness opened and I felt as if I already intuitively knew all the information in the entire book store...& beyond.
But why?
I obviously haven't awoke in the middle of April with delusions of being an infinite, almighty genius. So, what was the deal?
Well, I have a theory...
All the information you could ever need or wish to learn exists in the "Air" all around you. The only thing is that this "Air" is not air (well it is but is is also...an energetic matrix of energy & information. So, everything that has ever been thought, expressed or created throughout time is available to anyone at anytime. This is obvious to us via the internet because we experience this through our senses, site, touch, sound, etc. We can get online, search in "Google" & there we have the information we want, or close to it. Unfortunately, this method is not perfect.
I believe it's not so obvious to us otherwise, as in coming out of thin air, because we have become so dependent on our physical senses.
To try better to define what I'm talking about, have you ever been asked a question along a subject matter you sort of knew something about and then you were able to give this long answer but called it "pulling it out of your *backthere*". Well, it's likely that a lot of what you said was true and that you were actually pulling it out of this matrix.
The best way I've found to fine tune the ability to pull information "out of thin air" is be in silence a little bit more. For example, I quit listening to the radio in my car (okay, and here's the honest part...because it stopped working!) so I drive in silence. But after only a half hour of feeling sorry for myself that my radio quit working, new thoughts started coming into my mind, inspiration happened and by the time I got to my destination, I was so excited about life and all the amazing things I knew about, I could hardly remember where I was going or what I was doing...
Anyhow, my point is that the universe is unlimited. Whether you look at it spiritually or scientifically, it's still unlimited. We can't thoroughly define anything and doing so only limits ourselves and our perception of what is.
So, baby, just for today... be unlimited.
LOVE love love love!!!!
My awareness opened and I felt as if I already intuitively knew all the information in the entire book store...& beyond.
But why?
I obviously haven't awoke in the middle of April with delusions of being an infinite, almighty genius. So, what was the deal?
Well, I have a theory...
All the information you could ever need or wish to learn exists in the "Air" all around you. The only thing is that this "Air" is not air (well it is but is is also...an energetic matrix of energy & information. So, everything that has ever been thought, expressed or created throughout time is available to anyone at anytime. This is obvious to us via the internet because we experience this through our senses, site, touch, sound, etc. We can get online, search in "Google" & there we have the information we want, or close to it. Unfortunately, this method is not perfect.
I believe it's not so obvious to us otherwise, as in coming out of thin air, because we have become so dependent on our physical senses.
To try better to define what I'm talking about, have you ever been asked a question along a subject matter you sort of knew something about and then you were able to give this long answer but called it "pulling it out of your *backthere*". Well, it's likely that a lot of what you said was true and that you were actually pulling it out of this matrix.
The best way I've found to fine tune the ability to pull information "out of thin air" is be in silence a little bit more. For example, I quit listening to the radio in my car (okay, and here's the honest part...because it stopped working!) so I drive in silence. But after only a half hour of feeling sorry for myself that my radio quit working, new thoughts started coming into my mind, inspiration happened and by the time I got to my destination, I was so excited about life and all the amazing things I knew about, I could hardly remember where I was going or what I was doing...
Anyhow, my point is that the universe is unlimited. Whether you look at it spiritually or scientifically, it's still unlimited. We can't thoroughly define anything and doing so only limits ourselves and our perception of what is.
So, baby, just for today... be unlimited.
LOVE love love love!!!!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
New Beginnings...& Shampoo
It's officially the eve of new beginnings. I can't believe it's come so fast.
Tomorrow I'm finished with my job at Best Buddies & I start my "big girl life." ;-)
I feel so giddy & not once have I looked at the decision and regreted it...just streamlining forward. There is so much to do when starting a business & so much energy is necessary to get things off the ground, but I know it's the best thing I could be doing with my time.
The next few months are totally booked which is VERY exciting!!! In two weeks, I head to CA for BodyTalk Modules 4 & 7 followed by a meeting to become an Independent Contractor for one of my all time favorite companies. (More details soon lovesies!)
Next, I am off to Sedona for another conference, up to Silverton, CO to visit family, over to Austin, Texas, up to New Jersey/New York and then off to the Netherlands & Greece. Wow, I feel so grateful for such an amazing line up!!
I want to share that I started washing my hair again.
In the middle of March, my head started to itch and I thought, wow, that's strange. By the end of the day, I was so upset about my hair that I just wanted to sit down and cry, again. While it was starting to level out a little bit after 75 days of not washing it with anything but apple cider, baking soda & lemon, it had its ups and downs and I realized that I just didn't feel....CLEAN. These feelings took a huge toll on my self confidence & it hit me like...a ton of bricks that it just isn't worth it to feel like this. In fact, it's ruining my ability to have the best health ever because of these toxic thoughts.
I think no-poo is great for some people and I think it's great for people who don't live in the city, but right here and now for me, it just isn't the best solution ever.
So, I scoured Whole Foods "Whole Body" department for an hour reading ingredient labels and finally settled on Ultra Aestetics MSM Shampoo and Conditioner. There is one mild soap in it that is biodegradable as far as I can tell. I only have to wash my hair once every 2-4 days now because the oils no longer over produce like they used to.
After I washed my hair with it, an undeniable excitement came over me. It became clear that ego should not stand in the way of health, in any sense. It had for me because I was determined not to wash my hair...but why? To prove a point? I'm still doing great things for my body & the planet...so as far as I'm concerned...it's even better than the alternative!
Well, that's it for today...
Much love love love love.
Tomorrow I'm finished with my job at Best Buddies & I start my "big girl life." ;-)
I feel so giddy & not once have I looked at the decision and regreted it...just streamlining forward. There is so much to do when starting a business & so much energy is necessary to get things off the ground, but I know it's the best thing I could be doing with my time.
The next few months are totally booked which is VERY exciting!!! In two weeks, I head to CA for BodyTalk Modules 4 & 7 followed by a meeting to become an Independent Contractor for one of my all time favorite companies. (More details soon lovesies!)
Next, I am off to Sedona for another conference, up to Silverton, CO to visit family, over to Austin, Texas, up to New Jersey/New York and then off to the Netherlands & Greece. Wow, I feel so grateful for such an amazing line up!!
I want to share that I started washing my hair again.
In the middle of March, my head started to itch and I thought, wow, that's strange. By the end of the day, I was so upset about my hair that I just wanted to sit down and cry, again. While it was starting to level out a little bit after 75 days of not washing it with anything but apple cider, baking soda & lemon, it had its ups and downs and I realized that I just didn't feel....CLEAN. These feelings took a huge toll on my self confidence & it hit me like...a ton of bricks that it just isn't worth it to feel like this. In fact, it's ruining my ability to have the best health ever because of these toxic thoughts.
I think no-poo is great for some people and I think it's great for people who don't live in the city, but right here and now for me, it just isn't the best solution ever.
So, I scoured Whole Foods "Whole Body" department for an hour reading ingredient labels and finally settled on Ultra Aestetics MSM Shampoo and Conditioner. There is one mild soap in it that is biodegradable as far as I can tell. I only have to wash my hair once every 2-4 days now because the oils no longer over produce like they used to.
After I washed my hair with it, an undeniable excitement came over me. It became clear that ego should not stand in the way of health, in any sense. It had for me because I was determined not to wash my hair...but why? To prove a point? I'm still doing great things for my body & the planet...so as far as I'm concerned...it's even better than the alternative!
Well, that's it for today...
Much love love love love.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
5.5 Miles Later...
...I felt calm, peaceful, strong & gorgeous. I was nothing short of completely sweaty from head to toe and my feet were throbbing.
I hadn't run over 3 miles in over a year but I had set my mind to it Friday and made it happen. Running has become like meditation for me. Thoughts flow in and out and I begin to better understand the essence of life on a new level.
One thought that keeps coming to me is this: people replace 200,000,000,000 cells per day. Yes, that's billion. Basically, your entire body is replaced every 7 years and most of it is replaced in the first year. Every 4 months, some of your major organs are completely replaced (on a cellular level). But cells are all that we have/all that we are made up of. So what does this mean?
This means that our outward appearance and the way we feel inside is almost completely governed by out mind. Stretch marks? Wrinkles? What else... cellulite...can all be dissolved if we no longer BELIEVE they are there. Yes, there is scientific data behind WHY stretch marks, wrinkles & cellulite exist, however, the first thing you have to do is change the belief that they are there in the first place. Right, because EVERYTHING that exists once had to be imagined, right? Come along, now, shall we play a little make believe?
Imagine what it looks like when it's totally gone...what does it look like to have perfect skin, a gorgeous, tight butt and phenomenal legs? Can't imagine it on yourself? Put you in your perfect body (in your mind's eye) and check you out. Damn...
My friend said to me the other day, "My life is so stuck." And I told her to start eating raw foods, cut the crap out of her diet and start complimenting everyone she knows. She told me that maybe when she found another job & things got better she would try it. The point is that if you don't TRY to shift something and dis-guard it as something that "just won't work", it NEVER will work for you.
"Reasons or results." -T. Harv Eker
Post Run Recovery Smoothie:
*Raw almond butter
*Vitamineral Green
*Blue-green Algae
*Earth Minerals
*Maca Root
*Coconut Oil
*Coconut Flakes
*Lemon
*Blueberries
*Sedona Spring Water
*Spirulina
*Hemp protein powder
YUM!
Love. love. LoVe. LOVE.
I hadn't run over 3 miles in over a year but I had set my mind to it Friday and made it happen. Running has become like meditation for me. Thoughts flow in and out and I begin to better understand the essence of life on a new level.
One thought that keeps coming to me is this: people replace 200,000,000,000 cells per day. Yes, that's billion. Basically, your entire body is replaced every 7 years and most of it is replaced in the first year. Every 4 months, some of your major organs are completely replaced (on a cellular level). But cells are all that we have/all that we are made up of. So what does this mean?
This means that our outward appearance and the way we feel inside is almost completely governed by out mind. Stretch marks? Wrinkles? What else... cellulite...can all be dissolved if we no longer BELIEVE they are there. Yes, there is scientific data behind WHY stretch marks, wrinkles & cellulite exist, however, the first thing you have to do is change the belief that they are there in the first place. Right, because EVERYTHING that exists once had to be imagined, right? Come along, now, shall we play a little make believe?
Imagine what it looks like when it's totally gone...what does it look like to have perfect skin, a gorgeous, tight butt and phenomenal legs? Can't imagine it on yourself? Put you in your perfect body (in your mind's eye) and check you out. Damn...
My friend said to me the other day, "My life is so stuck." And I told her to start eating raw foods, cut the crap out of her diet and start complimenting everyone she knows. She told me that maybe when she found another job & things got better she would try it. The point is that if you don't TRY to shift something and dis-guard it as something that "just won't work", it NEVER will work for you.
"Reasons or results." -T. Harv Eker
Post Run Recovery Smoothie:
*Raw almond butter
*Vitamineral Green
*Blue-green Algae
*Earth Minerals
*Maca Root
*Coconut Oil
*Coconut Flakes
*Lemon
*Blueberries
*Sedona Spring Water
*Spirulina
*Hemp protein powder
YUM!
Love. love. LoVe. LOVE.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Resignation
The single thing that gets me most excited about the day is writing to you, so thank you, thank you for the opportunity! Seriously, even if we don't chat everyday, I love knowing that on some level, we're communicating.
I'm here to tell you today that I resigned from both of my paying jobs just over a month ago. I know, you might be disappointed that I have not told you yet, but I just wasn't ready. As you might have guessed, I've received significant flack from my family with the usual, "how are you going to pay the bills" and "what in the world are you going to do?" Both valid questions. My answers, however, even MORE valid.
See, it wasn't a whimsical decision, quite the contrary, it was a decision I made guided by "the universe". Now, "the universe" is in quotes simply because I think it's different for everyone. Some people have a relationship with God, others with their intuition, some have no idea what it is but still know that it's there. For me, it's the divine creation, essence of life or..."the universe".
Alright, so you're probably wondering, how the heck did you know?!!! And that's a legit question. I've been telling my mom since I was a little girl that I'm going to "save the world". It's a lot more romantic sounding when you're 5, but I'll take it. While my definition of what it means to "save the world" has dramatically changed, I know that NOW is the time. So, come the beginning of March, it was time to release my job with Best Buddies & as a personal assistant for the Environmental Author in Phoenix. I've been finished with the PA job for over a month and I'm finished at Best Buddies one week from today, 4/15. This means one week from today I will have total responsibility for my entire income. YES!
There has not been an instant in which I was unsure about my decision. I knew it was right then, and I know it's right now. Money is flowing into my life like never before and I'm SO GRATEFUL....
I've been offered two jobs since I've quit & my own business is flourishing... CAN'T WAIT TO TELL YOU MORE! The people & resources are flooding into my life and I'm soooo grateful! After all, what's that handy little universal law? Oh yes, the one that says when you create a void, the universe will fill it...all you have to do is decide what you want it to fill it with.
I've found that the formula to success is three part.
I'm here to tell you today that I resigned from both of my paying jobs just over a month ago. I know, you might be disappointed that I have not told you yet, but I just wasn't ready. As you might have guessed, I've received significant flack from my family with the usual, "how are you going to pay the bills" and "what in the world are you going to do?" Both valid questions. My answers, however, even MORE valid.
See, it wasn't a whimsical decision, quite the contrary, it was a decision I made guided by "the universe". Now, "the universe" is in quotes simply because I think it's different for everyone. Some people have a relationship with God, others with their intuition, some have no idea what it is but still know that it's there. For me, it's the divine creation, essence of life or..."the universe".
Alright, so you're probably wondering, how the heck did you know?!!! And that's a legit question. I've been telling my mom since I was a little girl that I'm going to "save the world". It's a lot more romantic sounding when you're 5, but I'll take it. While my definition of what it means to "save the world" has dramatically changed, I know that NOW is the time. So, come the beginning of March, it was time to release my job with Best Buddies & as a personal assistant for the Environmental Author in Phoenix. I've been finished with the PA job for over a month and I'm finished at Best Buddies one week from today, 4/15. This means one week from today I will have total responsibility for my entire income. YES!
There has not been an instant in which I was unsure about my decision. I knew it was right then, and I know it's right now. Money is flowing into my life like never before and I'm SO GRATEFUL....
I've been offered two jobs since I've quit & my own business is flourishing... CAN'T WAIT TO TELL YOU MORE! The people & resources are flooding into my life and I'm soooo grateful! After all, what's that handy little universal law? Oh yes, the one that says when you create a void, the universe will fill it...all you have to do is decide what you want it to fill it with.
I've found that the formula to success is three part.
- First and foremost, HEAL YOURSELF!!!!!!! Everything that comes into our lives is a mirror of us. EVERYTHING. Even the people, places and things we want to deny are ANYTHING like us, are exactly like us in some way.
- Create the void so what you want can fill it
- Put an immense amount of energy & dedicated work into what you want & dedicate it to the betterment of humanity.
- And a little bonus one, get crazy excited about your vision every day. Wake up and TASTE, TOUCH, SEE, SMELL, HEAR & FEEL, totally experience your new reality...
Here's to trusting in your inner voice...leaping before the net appears;-)
Love. LOVE. love. LOVEEE
Monday, April 5, 2010
Raw Milk
Raw Milk. Yes.
Well, I tried it yesterday and it tasted amazing, it was sweeter than anything I'd ever known to be "milk". For me, though, it didn't hit the spot or do the trick. My body was not very responsive to it and I got a wee bit bloated.
But, what is raw milk? It's milk that typically comes straight from a local farm, in this case, it was from a farm I was staying close to in Fort Collins, CO, that has not been nuked, cooked or pasteurized. The milk at the store has been pasteurized or ultra-pasteurized meaning that all the nutrients that might have been in the milk, have been killed and the molecular formation of the milk has been altered from the heat.
So, if allt he nutrients have been killed, then what's with the milk and calcium link?
Well, there isn't one. Milk has been shown to leach calcium from the bones and cause disease meaning that someone, or some entity has done a really amazing marketing job of making you think otherwise. Not only that, but cows that come from factory farms and provide a lot of the milk that's on the shelves today leak blood and puss into the milk from being so unhealthy- hyped up on steroids, antibiotics & sick- that they can barely stand and bleed from their utters. If this isn't bad enough, they also have a 3-4 times shorter lifespan than cows that are free range on farms.
One of the benefits, aside from not having disgusting puss & blood in your milk and not having calcium leached from your bones is that raw milk can provide healthy probiotics for your large intestine. Probiotics are critical to help grow your friendly bacteria and foster a happy n' healthy digestive system.
So anyway, I would totally suggest finding a local dairy & purchasing your milk from there (raw) instead. It has major health benefits, major planetary benefits and let's be real, it's great karma!
ENJOY, in joy!
Love. love. LOVE. EVOL!
Well, I tried it yesterday and it tasted amazing, it was sweeter than anything I'd ever known to be "milk". For me, though, it didn't hit the spot or do the trick. My body was not very responsive to it and I got a wee bit bloated.
But, what is raw milk? It's milk that typically comes straight from a local farm, in this case, it was from a farm I was staying close to in Fort Collins, CO, that has not been nuked, cooked or pasteurized. The milk at the store has been pasteurized or ultra-pasteurized meaning that all the nutrients that might have been in the milk, have been killed and the molecular formation of the milk has been altered from the heat.
So, if allt he nutrients have been killed, then what's with the milk and calcium link?
Well, there isn't one. Milk has been shown to leach calcium from the bones and cause disease meaning that someone, or some entity has done a really amazing marketing job of making you think otherwise. Not only that, but cows that come from factory farms and provide a lot of the milk that's on the shelves today leak blood and puss into the milk from being so unhealthy- hyped up on steroids, antibiotics & sick- that they can barely stand and bleed from their utters. If this isn't bad enough, they also have a 3-4 times shorter lifespan than cows that are free range on farms.
One of the benefits, aside from not having disgusting puss & blood in your milk and not having calcium leached from your bones is that raw milk can provide healthy probiotics for your large intestine. Probiotics are critical to help grow your friendly bacteria and foster a happy n' healthy digestive system.
So anyway, I would totally suggest finding a local dairy & purchasing your milk from there (raw) instead. It has major health benefits, major planetary benefits and let's be real, it's great karma!
ENJOY, in joy!
Love. love. LOVE. EVOL!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Trials & Tribulations:::February to March
In my excitement about being back & chatting with you again, I totally forgot to mention the trials and tribulations I went through February & March.
I'm not asking for a pitty party, but rather, just providing a perspective on why it's not always peaches and raw creme.
Right around Valentine's Day, I fell out of the raw food, healthy food, real food lifestyle completely. I started eating refined sugar again and alas, headed to Starbucks in the mid weeks of March. It was terrible and my body became inflamed, but that strange inner voice that's not really me kept creeping in and convincing me that it was okay to just grab a chai tea and that tomorrow, "I'll start eating raw again." That's not how it works though because truly, "tomorrow" never comes. You can't live in anytime but RIGHT NOW.
The point of this story is basically that eating is not logical in this day and age. We don't typically eat intuitively, we eat emotionally. Even guys who eat cheeseburgers and drink beer with their friends watching the game, are eating emotionally. Think about it. They feel a certain way doing this & they meet a certain stereotype so even though it's not the typical girly carton of ice cream after a stressful day, it's still emotional.
So, back to this month about terrible regression. (I say terrible because of how I felt.) My self esteem plummeted, I started gaining weight immediately, depression set in and the pain in my body raced back in. Nightmare.
Then came that magical March 23rd and the healing session I mentioned in the last post. The practitioner I go to is amazing. He said, you're left side is inflamed from something you've been eating.
"Chai tea?", I asked.
"Dairy." He said. "Drink more green juices." He knew I was a raw foodie for awhile and so he was very frank in his directions.
After this session, I couldn't even look at foods that were other than the best ever for my body & I transitioned back into superfoods, superherbs, raw food goooodness.
Well love, the point is to be with your journey & know that you can only move from where you are and the important thing is that you move.
Love. love. LOVE. love.
I'm not asking for a pitty party, but rather, just providing a perspective on why it's not always peaches and raw creme.
Right around Valentine's Day, I fell out of the raw food, healthy food, real food lifestyle completely. I started eating refined sugar again and alas, headed to Starbucks in the mid weeks of March. It was terrible and my body became inflamed, but that strange inner voice that's not really me kept creeping in and convincing me that it was okay to just grab a chai tea and that tomorrow, "I'll start eating raw again." That's not how it works though because truly, "tomorrow" never comes. You can't live in anytime but RIGHT NOW.
The point of this story is basically that eating is not logical in this day and age. We don't typically eat intuitively, we eat emotionally. Even guys who eat cheeseburgers and drink beer with their friends watching the game, are eating emotionally. Think about it. They feel a certain way doing this & they meet a certain stereotype so even though it's not the typical girly carton of ice cream after a stressful day, it's still emotional.
So, back to this month about terrible regression. (I say terrible because of how I felt.) My self esteem plummeted, I started gaining weight immediately, depression set in and the pain in my body raced back in. Nightmare.
Then came that magical March 23rd and the healing session I mentioned in the last post. The practitioner I go to is amazing. He said, you're left side is inflamed from something you've been eating.
"Chai tea?", I asked.
"Dairy." He said. "Drink more green juices." He knew I was a raw foodie for awhile and so he was very frank in his directions.
After this session, I couldn't even look at foods that were other than the best ever for my body & I transitioned back into superfoods, superherbs, raw food goooodness.
Well love, the point is to be with your journey & know that you can only move from where you are and the important thing is that you move.
Love. love. LOVE. love.
I'm BAAAACK.
Hey there sugar!
I've really missed you... my apologies for the absence. I have a grandiose, over the top, totally exciting vision for a new blog. Realistically, it's not going to be ready for another few weeks and I just can't wait that long to write you. We've got so much to catch up on.
First, how are you?!
And me? I'm doing amazing, seriously, the BEST EVER. I can't believe how awesome life is. On the 23rd, the day after my 23rd birthday, I had a very intense BodyTalk healing session. My body released some very old energy and I felt like I could breathe for the first time since I was a little girl. Not only that, but I felt like a child again and that I could be myself.
See, one thing that has always daunted me....are my energy levels. My natural state is excited, exuberant and in a state of pure wonder and magic totally stoked about being alive. Unfortunately, as maybe you have experienced too, most people don't welcome this because they don't YET feel this way. So, I've spent most of my life "toning it down" so as to fit in. SORRY, I don't want to fit in with that anymore...yeah, they're just not living the best life ever.
So this means that I've discovered the REAL me again and my energy levels will never again be marred by outside influence. I just picked up a little pocket book of mine and randomly opened to "The truth about approval is this: you will never get it." Right, so I'm not big on the "n" word (*whispers*: never) but the point is, live for you, live life on the wings of inspiration...IN-SPIRIT-ACTION.
Redefining RAW
In my world, RAW has been redefined. It started out as raw, uncooked, unadulterated food & drink that I would consume and see where it would take my life.
Bur seriously, is that it? Is that where it was to end? Obviously....not.
REVOLUTIONARY ACTION for the WORLD is more my style...it's the groove I'm rockin'. My commitment has changed to be wildly, ecstatically awake and naked, in every way, every day. Complimenting people everywhere, all the time, spreading the love, igniting the light, starting revolutions, following my dharma, doing the seemingly impossible & mastering my mind...moment by moment...after all, why wouldn't it be this?!
The Barefoot Revolution
So, to kick this revolution off right, I'm throwing away my show collection.
You're probably thinking, great, Terra's lost it. But wait...
Here's the thing. I hung out at this little thing called the "Longevity Now Experience" this past weekend and we chatted a little bit about grounding. (800 people, the leading Raw Food Nutritionist in the world & the most brilliant, human potential-researchers on the planet).
What David Wolfe has to say about Grounding: "The Earth is mobilized with free electrons & free antioxidant electrons. They pour into our bodies when we touch the earth. These negative electrons actually prevent oxidation in the body. When we are disconnected from the natural, negative charge, we are more subject to oxidation and develop inflammatory problems."
It has been proven that just by getting grounded, you can eliminate auto-immune disease. Eliminate it. Hello HUGE DEAL! You can go outside now and stick your BAREfeet on the ground or hug a tree & you'll be grounded.
(Learned this little handy piece of information at the Longevity Conference this weekend...another one in September and if you can make it, COME!!!!)
But you might be thinking, I have to work. And eat. And sleep and I'm not going to stand on the ground all day...FAIR ENOUGH LOVE! Here's the thing, an AMAZING man by the name of Clint Ober (who David has met & studied with) has actually developed a system, spending millions of dollars in research, to bring grounding technologies to you while you sleep, work...etc.
This technology comes in tons of forms, two of which I bought: sheets & a grounding pad from EarthFX, Clint's company. Seriously, it feels as if my entire nervous system has relaxed and I'm able to sleep deeper than ever before. (And as we know, deep sleep is crazy important for health and longevity. Sleep is the time when your body restores, detoxes and prepares for elimination.)
This stuff is over the top, out of this world amazing...the longevity technology is free flowing like never before. Activate genius!
Anyway, that's why I'm throwing my show collection away;-)
So, just for today, babay, SEE YOURSELF NOT AS YOU ARE....BUT AS YOU ARE BECOMING... it is done.
Love. Love. LOVE. love;-)
I've really missed you... my apologies for the absence. I have a grandiose, over the top, totally exciting vision for a new blog. Realistically, it's not going to be ready for another few weeks and I just can't wait that long to write you. We've got so much to catch up on.
First, how are you?!
And me? I'm doing amazing, seriously, the BEST EVER. I can't believe how awesome life is. On the 23rd, the day after my 23rd birthday, I had a very intense BodyTalk healing session. My body released some very old energy and I felt like I could breathe for the first time since I was a little girl. Not only that, but I felt like a child again and that I could be myself.
See, one thing that has always daunted me....are my energy levels. My natural state is excited, exuberant and in a state of pure wonder and magic totally stoked about being alive. Unfortunately, as maybe you have experienced too, most people don't welcome this because they don't YET feel this way. So, I've spent most of my life "toning it down" so as to fit in. SORRY, I don't want to fit in with that anymore...yeah, they're just not living the best life ever.
So this means that I've discovered the REAL me again and my energy levels will never again be marred by outside influence. I just picked up a little pocket book of mine and randomly opened to "The truth about approval is this: you will never get it." Right, so I'm not big on the "n" word (*whispers*: never) but the point is, live for you, live life on the wings of inspiration...IN-SPIRIT-ACTION.
Redefining RAW
In my world, RAW has been redefined. It started out as raw, uncooked, unadulterated food & drink that I would consume and see where it would take my life.
Bur seriously, is that it? Is that where it was to end? Obviously....not.
REVOLUTIONARY ACTION for the WORLD is more my style...it's the groove I'm rockin'. My commitment has changed to be wildly, ecstatically awake and naked, in every way, every day. Complimenting people everywhere, all the time, spreading the love, igniting the light, starting revolutions, following my dharma, doing the seemingly impossible & mastering my mind...moment by moment...after all, why wouldn't it be this?!
The Barefoot Revolution
So, to kick this revolution off right, I'm throwing away my show collection.
You're probably thinking, great, Terra's lost it. But wait...
Here's the thing. I hung out at this little thing called the "Longevity Now Experience" this past weekend and we chatted a little bit about grounding. (800 people, the leading Raw Food Nutritionist in the world & the most brilliant, human potential-researchers on the planet).
What David Wolfe has to say about Grounding: "The Earth is mobilized with free electrons & free antioxidant electrons. They pour into our bodies when we touch the earth. These negative electrons actually prevent oxidation in the body. When we are disconnected from the natural, negative charge, we are more subject to oxidation and develop inflammatory problems."
It has been proven that just by getting grounded, you can eliminate auto-immune disease. Eliminate it. Hello HUGE DEAL! You can go outside now and stick your BAREfeet on the ground or hug a tree & you'll be grounded.
(Learned this little handy piece of information at the Longevity Conference this weekend...another one in September and if you can make it, COME!!!!)
But you might be thinking, I have to work. And eat. And sleep and I'm not going to stand on the ground all day...FAIR ENOUGH LOVE! Here's the thing, an AMAZING man by the name of Clint Ober (who David has met & studied with) has actually developed a system, spending millions of dollars in research, to bring grounding technologies to you while you sleep, work...etc.
This technology comes in tons of forms, two of which I bought: sheets & a grounding pad from EarthFX, Clint's company. Seriously, it feels as if my entire nervous system has relaxed and I'm able to sleep deeper than ever before. (And as we know, deep sleep is crazy important for health and longevity. Sleep is the time when your body restores, detoxes and prepares for elimination.)
This stuff is over the top, out of this world amazing...the longevity technology is free flowing like never before. Activate genius!
Anyway, that's why I'm throwing my show collection away;-)
So, just for today, babay, SEE YOURSELF NOT AS YOU ARE....BUT AS YOU ARE BECOMING... it is done.
Love. Love. LOVE. love;-)
Monday, March 22, 2010
Aging
23 times around the sun and I feel better than ever!
Exactly one year ago today I celebrated my golden birthday (22 on the 22nd) and I decided that day I was going to quit aging, permanently.
It's funny, because any time I tell anyone this, they say, "You can't do that, or you'll be thinking something different when XY and Z are sagging all over the place." Or simply, "Okay, hatever Terra."
The thing is though, that SCIENCE is strictly saying now that we live our lives totally dependent on what we believe. So, if I believe that I'm going to get healthier and healthier and never age again, I won't. Plain and simple. And if they continue to believe they will, then they will. Plain and simple.
So, I just wanted to share that exciting news with you today...that WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE you CREATE. I know that's probably not any new news to you...but hey, WHAT A PERFECT DAY TO REMEMBER THAT!!!
Anyway, I will be signing off for a few days and revamping some things...
I LOVE YOU and I'll be back soon to word-snuggle you some more.
love. LOVE. LoVe. LOVE!!!!
Exactly one year ago today I celebrated my golden birthday (22 on the 22nd) and I decided that day I was going to quit aging, permanently.
It's funny, because any time I tell anyone this, they say, "You can't do that, or you'll be thinking something different when XY and Z are sagging all over the place." Or simply, "Okay, hatever Terra."
The thing is though, that SCIENCE is strictly saying now that we live our lives totally dependent on what we believe. So, if I believe that I'm going to get healthier and healthier and never age again, I won't. Plain and simple. And if they continue to believe they will, then they will. Plain and simple.
So, I just wanted to share that exciting news with you today...that WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE you CREATE. I know that's probably not any new news to you...but hey, WHAT A PERFECT DAY TO REMEMBER THAT!!!
Anyway, I will be signing off for a few days and revamping some things...
I LOVE YOU and I'll be back soon to word-snuggle you some more.
love. LOVE. LoVe. LOVE!!!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Magic & Wonder
These are the days of magic and wonder.
Whether you believe in God, Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, Tara...or any deity at all, a focus on something more expansive than the physical self is powerful. So, just for you today sweets, is a little spirit treat! Yum...enjoy!!!
Click to Expand
Click for a dose of Personal Power
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click to Expand
Click for a dose of Personal Power
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rhythmic Holy Breath exercise
The following Rhythmic Holy Breath exercise is being given to Humanity by the Spiritual Hierarchy to help us assimilate the Love of God that is flowing into the planet at this time. This breathing exercise is amazingly simple but immeasurably effective and powerful beyond our comprehension. The Beings of Light said that if this simple breathing exercise is consistently done by Lightworkers several times throughout the day, we will transcend the chaos manifesting in our lives and assist awakening Humanity to transcend the resistance they are experiencing from their human egos.
The Spiritual Hierarchy said the Rhythmic Breath is the most powerful expression of the Holy Breath. It involves a very simple breathing process: inhale-hold-exhale-hold
ON THE INBREATH, we deliberately breathe the Love of God into our Heart Flames while consciously reaching into higher and higher frequencies of God’s Divine Love.
AS WE HOLD THE HOLY BREATH IN OUR HEART FLAMES, we consciously assimilate the Love of God into the Divinity of our hearts.
ON THE OUTBREATH, we expand the Love of God into every cell, organ and electron of our physical, etheric, mental and emotional bodies.
AS WE HOLD THE HOLY BREATH OUT, we deliberately project the assimilated Love of God into the Heart Flames of every man, woman and child.
Once you become familiar with the process of the Rhythmic Holy Breath, it will be an extremely powerful and very easy way for you to assimilate and expand the Love of God throughout your busy day.
The following affirmation is to be done in the silence of your heart in unison with the Rhythmic Holy Breath:
Inbreathe
I AM INBREATHING THE LOVE OF GOD.
Hold
I AM ASSIMILATING THE LOVE OF GOD.
Outbreathe
I AM EXPANDING THE LOVE OF GOD.
Hold
I AM PROJECTING THE LOVE OF GOD.
(Repeat several times)
Memorize this breathing affirmation, and do the Rhythmic Holy Breath as many times as you can throughout the day. Once you are familiar with the process, the Rhythmic Holy Breath can easily be done when you are driving in the car, cleaning the house, shopping, cooking, relaxing, watching television, exercising, falling asleep at night or any other time it feels right. You cannot overdo it; in this case, the more the better!
LOVE. love. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE explosions!!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
a WEE rant.
I woke up this morning excited to blog about make up and skin care.
But, first, I have to get something off my chest.
I am not a fan of rationing.
Not at all.
AND, our whole society is rationed. Seriously, the whole damn thing. You go to the store and your food is broken up in rations. Now, if you have enough money, it appears that you have access to "unlimited rations", however, this is not even true. Even if you bought up the entire store, you would eventually run out of food (or die from eating so much processed shenanigans).
When you go to start a garden and grow your own food, the good soil you can buy is rationed.
The minutes on your cell phone are typically rationed.
The healthy recommendations for sex in a day/week is rationed.
"Clean" bottled water is rationed.
Makeup to "make you look gorgeous/sexy/younger" is rationed.
Everything is in a limited, poverty consciousness.
The point is that everything comes in tiny containers telling you how much you can have and it totally depends on how much paper money you can give.
No wonder we all lust after materialistic things. We're constantly told that's how our wealth is defined.
I don't think money is a bad thing at all. No way. But it's a tool, not a definition.
But...
WHERE'S THE ABUNDANCE?!
...actually it's all around us.
The air we breathe, is unlimited.
The water, should we choose to start cleaning up the earth, is unlimited.
The wild food,
The sunlight,
The smiles,
The energy of life,
The love of the universe,
The money,
...unlimited.
Open to the abundance baby & dance with life...
Love. love .love LOVE.
But, first, I have to get something off my chest.
I am not a fan of rationing.
Not at all.
AND, our whole society is rationed. Seriously, the whole damn thing. You go to the store and your food is broken up in rations. Now, if you have enough money, it appears that you have access to "unlimited rations", however, this is not even true. Even if you bought up the entire store, you would eventually run out of food (or die from eating so much processed shenanigans).
When you go to start a garden and grow your own food, the good soil you can buy is rationed.
The minutes on your cell phone are typically rationed.
The healthy recommendations for sex in a day/week is rationed.
"Clean" bottled water is rationed.
Makeup to "make you look gorgeous/sexy/younger" is rationed.
Everything is in a limited, poverty consciousness.
The point is that everything comes in tiny containers telling you how much you can have and it totally depends on how much paper money you can give.
No wonder we all lust after materialistic things. We're constantly told that's how our wealth is defined.
I don't think money is a bad thing at all. No way. But it's a tool, not a definition.
But...
WHERE'S THE ABUNDANCE?!
...actually it's all around us.
The air we breathe, is unlimited.
The water, should we choose to start cleaning up the earth, is unlimited.
The wild food,
The sunlight,
The smiles,
The energy of life,
The love of the universe,
The money,
...unlimited.
Open to the abundance baby & dance with life...
Love. love .love LOVE.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Magical MSM- Notes from a True Goddess
Good Morning Darling!
Thanks so much for stopping by! Today, we have an amazing goddess who is out in Hawaii, making it happen with the raw way of life. She has some awesome notes below about MSM, a true healer!
I would also highly recommend signing up for Marjy's AMAZING newsletter! It's super easy to do, just visit her site here:
http://www.marjysrawnutrition.com/
Love. love. love. love & ENJOY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAGICAL MSM
Thanks so much for stopping by! Today, we have an amazing goddess who is out in Hawaii, making it happen with the raw way of life. She has some awesome notes below about MSM, a true healer!
I would also highly recommend signing up for Marjy's AMAZING newsletter! It's super easy to do, just visit her site here:
http://www.marjysrawnutrition.com/
Love. love. love. love & ENJOY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAGICAL MSM
MSM is a naturally occurring sulfur compound. MSM helps to maintain integrity of connective tissues. It makes cell walls flexible and permeable, allowing nutrients to freely flow in and wastes to leave the cells. It makes one more flexible, and mobile.
It relieves pain, as an anti-inflammatory, and makes our cells more juicy and flexible. It is anti- allergy by strengthening membranes and tissues in the body to fight allergens. It is beautifying, minimizing wrinkles.
It is a strong detoxifyer, great during a fast or cleanse, is an anti-oxidant, strengthens the immune system, increases alertness and ability to concentrate, helps heal wounds, stops itching, alleviates respiratory congestion, controls acidity in ulcers, helps muscles heal, increases body's ability to produce insulin, coats the intestines to help prevent parasites, reduces physiological affects of stress like gastrointestinal upset, relieves arthritis, lowers high blood pressure, is essential for Alzheimer's patients, relieves heartburn, and so much more!
Start taking MSM slowly, 1/2 teaspoon or 500 mgs per day and then increase to twice that much, until you reach 2000- 5000 mg, or more per day, depending what you want to accomplish. I take about 5000 mg per day and I take it as a preventative for pain, and for beautifying affects.
We find MSM naturally occurring in raw fruits and veggies, as well as in algae, fish , milk, and grains. Once any food is processed, it loses its MSM content. You can find MSM in your local health food store and I encourage you to get the powder.
MSM WATER
1 SCOOP MSM
2 CUPS WATER
1/2 SQUEEZED LEMON
MSM SMOOTHIE
1 SCOOP MSM
1SCOOP VITAMIN C
2CUPS COCONUT WATER
1 TSP HONEY
1TSP BEE POLLEN
1TSP SPIRULINA
1 MANGO
FOR BEAUTY AND HEALTH CONSULTATIONS AND PERSONAL MENU PLANNING EMAIL ME AT MJBERKMAN@YAHOO.COM OR CALL 808 212 5824!!
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!
I can't believe it's not butter.
Oh really? Seriously. You can't believe it's not butter? If it's not butter but it looks & tastes like butter, then WHAT IS IT?!
Colored & refined poop?
No.
Nail enamel off dead people?
No.
Hum, gosh, mommy, I just can't imagine what this lovely society would have come up with for me to eat instead of real, delicious butter that has some great properties for your body. What could margarine be?
Plastic?
YES.
That's right, you read it, margarine is basically plastic. Get this, when margarine is made, they use nickel (A HEAVY METAL) to make it solidify, then they add perfumes and dyes to take away the nasty smell and taste of the rancid oils. Disgusting. Did you know that margarine is GRAY, not yellow, before they add the dyes...
That's right, rancid oils! Now, you might be thinking, "oh, it's not that bad when oil no longer tastes good" but IT IS THAT BAD. Here's the thing, when oil goes rancid, it flat out becomes carcinogenic, ie CANCEROUS. So, when margarine is made, the oils are heated to insanely high temperatures, making the molecules unstable. When they become unstable, they oxidize (oxidation=oxygen attacking and killing enzymes). When this enters your body, it doesn't know how to digest it because it is foreign and becomes highly toxic to you.
Okay, so let's review.
Margarine has heavy metals
Margarine has perfumes/dyes
Margarine is carcinogenic
Margarine is addictive
So, I'm not sure about you, but I'm going to finish my margarine tub and consider not buying anymore. HAHA NOT. I don't even own a margarine tub...and thank God after learning all this nonsense.
Now, darling, it's time for our heart to heart. I love you soooo much, like a sister/brother. I really do. So, if there's one thing you do this week, will you PLEASE consider ditching the margarine? Please, pleaseeeeee?
And it's SOO easy to replace. You can buy organic Ghee, which is the BEST butter for you ever http://www.shoporganic.com/product/purity-farms-organic-ghee-clarified-butter-13-oz/organic_ghee
or just regular organic, stick butter (unsalted and add your own Himalayan or Celtic Sea salt).
Love. love love love LOVE.
Oh really? Seriously. You can't believe it's not butter? If it's not butter but it looks & tastes like butter, then WHAT IS IT?!
Colored & refined poop?
No.
Nail enamel off dead people?
No.
Hum, gosh, mommy, I just can't imagine what this lovely society would have come up with for me to eat instead of real, delicious butter that has some great properties for your body. What could margarine be?
Plastic?
YES.
That's right, you read it, margarine is basically plastic. Get this, when margarine is made, they use nickel (A HEAVY METAL) to make it solidify, then they add perfumes and dyes to take away the nasty smell and taste of the rancid oils. Disgusting. Did you know that margarine is GRAY, not yellow, before they add the dyes...
That's right, rancid oils! Now, you might be thinking, "oh, it's not that bad when oil no longer tastes good" but IT IS THAT BAD. Here's the thing, when oil goes rancid, it flat out becomes carcinogenic, ie CANCEROUS. So, when margarine is made, the oils are heated to insanely high temperatures, making the molecules unstable. When they become unstable, they oxidize (oxidation=oxygen attacking and killing enzymes). When this enters your body, it doesn't know how to digest it because it is foreign and becomes highly toxic to you.
Okay, so let's review.
Margarine has heavy metals
Margarine has perfumes/dyes
Margarine is carcinogenic
Margarine is addictive
So, I'm not sure about you, but I'm going to finish my margarine tub and consider not buying anymore. HAHA NOT. I don't even own a margarine tub...and thank God after learning all this nonsense.
Now, darling, it's time for our heart to heart. I love you soooo much, like a sister/brother. I really do. So, if there's one thing you do this week, will you PLEASE consider ditching the margarine? Please, pleaseeeeee?
And it's SOO easy to replace. You can buy organic Ghee, which is the BEST butter for you ever http://www.shoporganic.com/product/purity-farms-organic-ghee-clarified-butter-13-oz/organic_ghee
or just regular organic, stick butter (unsalted and add your own Himalayan or Celtic Sea salt).
Love. love love love LOVE.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tonic :: Body-Mind-Spirit
Let's just say that the undercover negative nancy clan (nnc) ganged up on me yesterday and my energy plummeted. (The NNC is in fact my mind!) I ate a piece of salmon because I was craving it. Turns out, my body no longer wants that type of protein. Tired and cranky set in. Then, I made some more other than the best decisions for my body and by the time I left work, I felt like nnc had kicked me in the gut.
The message lately has been to surrender to the universe completely and to TRUST. So, as I was driving home, instead of shoving the emotions of anger and hate and disgust deeper, I embraced them. I starred at them with my mind's eye and looked deep down in my heart. IT WAS SO UNCOMFY. It was like sitting on a pile of nails, glued on the ground sticking straight up.
When I got home, I was directed as to the kind of tonic to make for my body. It sounded disgusting.
But, I was firmly instructed to have faith & trust (two things that are not at all fluffy when you're actually doing it).
So, I pulled down the blender and added:
*Vitamineral Green
*Liquid Ginseng
*Raw cacao
*Tons of raw aloe gel (from the plant I found outside)
*Filtered water
*Fresh ginger
*Goji Berries
I blended it up & then I starred at it. The top foam looked like dirty fluff. I didn't want to drink it. But, when I finally tasted it, it was delicious! It was totally yummy. There wasn't even anything sweet in it but it just tasted chocolatey.
Physical tonic.
Then, I had to do something for my spirit. Last week I invested in a program called Angel Qi Gong by Dr. Nick Good. It is a Qi Gong practice that involves connecting spiritually to the magic of life. I had only done it one time before this and this time was exponetially more powerful than the first experience. I expect the power of the practice to continue growing.
Spiritual tonic.
Finally, I had to do something for my mind. In January of 2009, I bought one of the most powerful pschological reconditioning systems that exists (SUNPOP, www.successultranow.com). I read the book and never had the courage to start. Then, I started at the beginning of this year but never made it the full 21 days that you're meant to do the program.
So, last night, I plugged it in and began. Half way through (it's 1 hour 15 minutes), it cut me off and I didn't get to finish it, but just that bit totally changed my mental state.
Mind Tonic.
I ended with a yoga session and some breathing.
It was powerful to totally surrender my ego and embrace change.
I am in infinite gratitude.
Love. lovelovelovelove.
The message lately has been to surrender to the universe completely and to TRUST. So, as I was driving home, instead of shoving the emotions of anger and hate and disgust deeper, I embraced them. I starred at them with my mind's eye and looked deep down in my heart. IT WAS SO UNCOMFY. It was like sitting on a pile of nails, glued on the ground sticking straight up.
When I got home, I was directed as to the kind of tonic to make for my body. It sounded disgusting.
But, I was firmly instructed to have faith & trust (two things that are not at all fluffy when you're actually doing it).
So, I pulled down the blender and added:
*Vitamineral Green
*Liquid Ginseng
*Raw cacao
*Tons of raw aloe gel (from the plant I found outside)
*Filtered water
*Fresh ginger
*Goji Berries
I blended it up & then I starred at it. The top foam looked like dirty fluff. I didn't want to drink it. But, when I finally tasted it, it was delicious! It was totally yummy. There wasn't even anything sweet in it but it just tasted chocolatey.
Physical tonic.
Then, I had to do something for my spirit. Last week I invested in a program called Angel Qi Gong by Dr. Nick Good. It is a Qi Gong practice that involves connecting spiritually to the magic of life. I had only done it one time before this and this time was exponetially more powerful than the first experience. I expect the power of the practice to continue growing.
Spiritual tonic.
Finally, I had to do something for my mind. In January of 2009, I bought one of the most powerful pschological reconditioning systems that exists (SUNPOP, www.successultranow.com). I read the book and never had the courage to start. Then, I started at the beginning of this year but never made it the full 21 days that you're meant to do the program.
So, last night, I plugged it in and began. Half way through (it's 1 hour 15 minutes), it cut me off and I didn't get to finish it, but just that bit totally changed my mental state.
Mind Tonic.
I ended with a yoga session and some breathing.
It was powerful to totally surrender my ego and embrace change.
I am in infinite gratitude.
Love. lovelovelovelove.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Sex. Part 2
A tantalizing theatrical performance by the heart.
Plays on stage, all engaged, hearts tender.
Feeling the rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm.
Your childess heart is dancing & spinning upon the stage...
Wild, pure, freedom courses through your veins...
Through your body beats the essence of life.
Into your mind, nothing...you are present.
Loved.
Accepted.
Here.
--
I brutally learned in the last 24 hours that my heart does not dance upon stage anymore, nor does it feel the rhythm of its own beat.
Sometime, long ago, I shut it off to feeling. Sometime, long ago, I was very hurt (and I don't remember the specific instance) and I decided that "No one will ever hurt me again." So, in order to ensure this, I shut down my heart chakra, I closed the door to most feeling and I began to live my life this way. The result? Very successful business endeavors, enough of an open heart to fool myself and others that I'm loving & lovable & then there are good friends, but still, at a distance. The inability to be with some romantically. Until 2 months ago, I still hugged people sideways, not letting my heart touch theirs-no chest to chest. The inability to get too close and the inability to finish things. Because what, what happens if I finish something? It ends. And endings can hurt. So, like I read my books & I clean my room & I start projects & businesses, I live my entire life...unfinished.
I've discovered this is a huge part of being a lover. A lover of life, of people, of the essences that makes us up. A lover of magic, lover of acceptance & abundance. A lover of another.
True, unadulterated, beautiful sacred sex is an art. It's becoming a lover, being a lover, embodying love. Not only an art form, it's an act that the heart has to be willing and ready to perform. Touching, caressing, breathing with, experiencing deep sensual eye contact with another person, in a moments whisper you are pure, you have surrendered. It is a time when you can be nowhere but here and nothing but present.
Sex. Is it right or wrong? Is the answer that black or white? People who are considered to be spiritually evolved are known not to engage. But why? Is it for purities purpose? To ensure that another energetic force is not let into their body for possibility of throwing off the energetic balance?
These questions have coursed through my mind for a long time. Recently, I was listening to a recording by Dr. Nick Good (www.successultranow.com), someone I consider highly evolved and he touched briefly on sexual intercourse. He noted that there have been periods in his life when he was "happily celibate" and times when he engaged in sexual activity. He noted that it is simply about acknowledging the other person, engaging in dialogue about what it means to have a sacred experience with them. What does it mean to totally honor and respect that person & be there, just with them fully in the moment. He then noted to have an inner dialogue about the duality between porn & sacred sexuality. Porn, being the lowest possible vibratory form of sexual existence, and sacred sexuality being the highest possible form of sexual existence. Why do they both exist? Simply because our universe can only function with duality? Night & day, hot & cold?
So, Sacred Sex/Sexuality to me is an experience.
Maybe research is involved www.tantra.com
Maybe a deeper understanding of yourself is it.
Maybe opening your heart chakra to the essence of life. Letting the magic presence that is all around us flow in will do it.
Or maybe it's none of these.
Maybe, it's sitting with yourself. For the first time ever or for the one millionth time. Exploring your body inch by inch, the entire thing from top to bottom. Slowly. What does your own hair smell like? What do your toenails look like? How does the top of your inner thighs look just below your butt? If you don't love these parts & if you can't be with them, you will never allow another to, nor will they want to. Explore. & Find a LOVE for yourself so deep inside.
(Please note, when you begin, you may feel intense emotions such as shame, guilt, strangeness, love, hate, etc. Be with it. Feel it. CRY.)
Below. This is the wall I had built around my heart. With a wall comes a shadow, a place for emotions to hide & pile up. A place for them to act as saboteurs on the stage. No longer will this be my reality. No longer will I leave a wall around my heart to push people away, to keep people out. Here and now, the wall is crumbling inside.
Love. LOVE. love. LoVe.
"And you're stronger and you're better and you're ready for whatever."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeLBUjjxjOU
Plays on stage, all engaged, hearts tender.
Feeling the rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm.
Your childess heart is dancing & spinning upon the stage...
Wild, pure, freedom courses through your veins...
Through your body beats the essence of life.
Into your mind, nothing...you are present.
Loved.
Accepted.
Here.
--
I brutally learned in the last 24 hours that my heart does not dance upon stage anymore, nor does it feel the rhythm of its own beat.
Sometime, long ago, I shut it off to feeling. Sometime, long ago, I was very hurt (and I don't remember the specific instance) and I decided that "No one will ever hurt me again." So, in order to ensure this, I shut down my heart chakra, I closed the door to most feeling and I began to live my life this way. The result? Very successful business endeavors, enough of an open heart to fool myself and others that I'm loving & lovable & then there are good friends, but still, at a distance. The inability to be with some romantically. Until 2 months ago, I still hugged people sideways, not letting my heart touch theirs-no chest to chest. The inability to get too close and the inability to finish things. Because what, what happens if I finish something? It ends. And endings can hurt. So, like I read my books & I clean my room & I start projects & businesses, I live my entire life...unfinished.
I've discovered this is a huge part of being a lover. A lover of life, of people, of the essences that makes us up. A lover of magic, lover of acceptance & abundance. A lover of another.
True, unadulterated, beautiful sacred sex is an art. It's becoming a lover, being a lover, embodying love. Not only an art form, it's an act that the heart has to be willing and ready to perform. Touching, caressing, breathing with, experiencing deep sensual eye contact with another person, in a moments whisper you are pure, you have surrendered. It is a time when you can be nowhere but here and nothing but present.
Sex. Is it right or wrong? Is the answer that black or white? People who are considered to be spiritually evolved are known not to engage. But why? Is it for purities purpose? To ensure that another energetic force is not let into their body for possibility of throwing off the energetic balance?
These questions have coursed through my mind for a long time. Recently, I was listening to a recording by Dr. Nick Good (www.successultranow.com), someone I consider highly evolved and he touched briefly on sexual intercourse. He noted that there have been periods in his life when he was "happily celibate" and times when he engaged in sexual activity. He noted that it is simply about acknowledging the other person, engaging in dialogue about what it means to have a sacred experience with them. What does it mean to totally honor and respect that person & be there, just with them fully in the moment. He then noted to have an inner dialogue about the duality between porn & sacred sexuality. Porn, being the lowest possible vibratory form of sexual existence, and sacred sexuality being the highest possible form of sexual existence. Why do they both exist? Simply because our universe can only function with duality? Night & day, hot & cold?
So, Sacred Sex/Sexuality to me is an experience.
Maybe research is involved www.tantra.com
Maybe a deeper understanding of yourself is it.
Maybe opening your heart chakra to the essence of life. Letting the magic presence that is all around us flow in will do it.
Or maybe it's none of these.
Maybe, it's sitting with yourself. For the first time ever or for the one millionth time. Exploring your body inch by inch, the entire thing from top to bottom. Slowly. What does your own hair smell like? What do your toenails look like? How does the top of your inner thighs look just below your butt? If you don't love these parts & if you can't be with them, you will never allow another to, nor will they want to. Explore. & Find a LOVE for yourself so deep inside.
(Please note, when you begin, you may feel intense emotions such as shame, guilt, strangeness, love, hate, etc. Be with it. Feel it. CRY.)
Below. This is the wall I had built around my heart. With a wall comes a shadow, a place for emotions to hide & pile up. A place for them to act as saboteurs on the stage. No longer will this be my reality. No longer will I leave a wall around my heart to push people away, to keep people out. Here and now, the wall is crumbling inside.
Love. LOVE. love. LoVe.
"And you're stronger and you're better and you're ready for whatever."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeLBUjjxjOU
Sunday, March 7, 2010
I'm Sorry & I Love You.
I'm sorry and I love you
More insight on Ho'oponopono:
http://www.ancienthuna.com/ho-oponopono.htm
http://www.huna.com/?gclid=CNbgytH1p6ACFRgsawodrn1TVA
http://hooponoponoworks.blogspot.com/
Love. Love. LOVE. love.
HO'OPONOPONO
By Joe Vitale
"Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete
ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. The
psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to
see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the
patient improved.
"When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How
could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best
self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn't make any
sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.
"However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had
used a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of
it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I
had to know more. I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean
that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my
hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that ay.
We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does--but that's
wrong.
"The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach
me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility. His name is Dr.
Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone
call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a
therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four
years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous.
Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or
simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against
the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant
place to live, work, or visit.
"Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office
and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work
on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.
"'After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed
to walk freely,' he told me. 'Others who had to be heavily medicated were
getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being
released were being freed.' I was in awe. 'Not only that,' he went on,
'but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover
disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients
were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that
ward is closed.'
"This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: 'What were you
doing within yourself that caused those people to change?'
"'I was simply healing the part of me that created them,' he said. I
didn't understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your
life means that everything in your life- simply because it is in your
life--is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your
creation.
"Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is
one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is
quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility
for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way
experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means
that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you
experience and don't like--is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a
manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem
isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change
you.
"I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame
is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I
began to realize that healing for him and in ho 'oponopono means loving
yourself.
"If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want
to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you.
"I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing,
exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?
"'I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again,'
he explained.
"That's it?
"That's it.
"Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself,
and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.
"Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent
me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working
on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who
sent the nasty message.
"This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying,
'I'm sorry' and 'I love you,' I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I
was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating
the outer circumstance.
"Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for
his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action
to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying 'I love
you,' I somehow healed within me what was creating him.
"I later attended a ho 'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70
years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive.
He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve
myself, my book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when
they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.
"'What about the books that are already sold and out there?' I asked.
"'They aren't out there,' he explained, once again blowing my mind with
his mystic wisdom. 'They are still in you.' In short, there is no out
there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with
the depth it deserves.
"Suffice It to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your
life, there's only one place to look: inside you. When you look, do it
with love."
More insight on Ho'oponopono:
http://www.ancienthuna.com/ho-oponopono.htm
http://www.huna.com/?gclid=CNbgytH1p6ACFRgsawodrn1TVA
http://hooponoponoworks.blogspot.com/
Love. Love. LOVE. love.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
A look back in time...
Tonight I have been going through my life, corner by crevice by corner and throwing away, burning, etc. all the old stuff...22 years of it. A full post on this to come shortly...
However, in the moment I am deleting my Myspace account & came across old blogs I wrote. I wanted to share them with you. This was a time I was reading a lot into Buddism.
Enjoy.
-----------I love you--------------
Thursday, June 21, 2007
However, in the moment I am deleting my Myspace account & came across old blogs I wrote. I wanted to share them with you. This was a time I was reading a lot into Buddism.
Enjoy.
-----------I love you--------------
Thursday, June 21, 2007
 | Current mood:  chipper last year i saw rebecca giddens, 3rd place olympian slalom boater, compete at the kern river fest. i decided i loved the way she looked "dancing" in her boat with so much precision and class. i looked all over online for people who could teach me. no one was to be found. **------a year and a half later----** i went to golden. 25 minutes from boulder. we saw a whitewater rodeo where guys and chicks do tricks in waves. i met rebecca giddens coach and they're taking new people to train, especially women right now. he's working with the french, iranian, chinese and canadian teams. he's way cool and ready to get me in the water and start teaching me the techniques... FOR FREE. the point of this story is to remind that things will come full circle, keep an eye out for the next best thing and make sure your golden dreams come second to none. |
------- Saturday, May 26, 2007
--------- Thursday, May 03, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
|
calm 
awake Another look back in time...
---
Category: Life
Category: Life
the following experience happened in the
---------------------------------------------beginning of august 2006. ----------------------------
7am, I can't take the blow up mattress anymore. I can feel the ground underneath me every time I move and it's unpleasant so I revert to the couch under the window, the one with less sun shining on my face. Sirens yelled and dogs howled, it's 7:34am and I'm tired. I wrestle with the blanket and pillow to find my comfortable space, it works but still more sirens.
Last night I prayed I would wake up sick this morning, I didn't. My heart was beating abnormally fast, but it had been since I became aware we would be running Granite and the Numbers around 4:30pm yesterday afternoon.
I contimplated playing sick, jumping off a cliff, lieing about something waiting for me to do elsewhere, however the lies didn't suffice.
9am rolls around and I wake up again, this time just from a more rested stand point.
I use the bathroom and sit back down on the couch, staring out the window at the cloudy sky. Maybe it would rain, but who cares? Kayakers pray for rain and that would not be a way out. I got up off the couch and called Mom, told her the anxiety. She said not to run Granite/Numbers if I didn't feel comfortable. Mom's right. I had wished Dad-Bill would have been around to talk to, but realizing the last e-mail I had read from the Monsoon Warriors blog would put him right at the Upper Salt put in at 10am CO time.
I walked back into the house and went into the bathroom. My mouth had a faint blood taste, it was fear.
I had a decision to make and no one to make it for me.
I took Michael to Bongo Billy's but he wanted "real breakfast food." I was annoyed.
We walked to City Market. We bought muffins and fruit and whatnot and walked back to the house. We sat on the step outside and ate.
He looked at me and said, "It's okay to be scared."
My eyes swelled with tears but I said nothing, at first. I didn't want him to know.
Then I simply said, "I guess."
But I didn't think that coming to terms with my fear was going to help. Then, it was the moment that I realized I was stuck in between.
I had two options: Run it or Don't.
I didn't want to, not even a little bit. I knew that if I didn't, I would be upset with myself in knowing that I had the abilty to try and succeed and if I did,
well, only the Universe could determine that.
It was time to go, do I stay and hike or do I at least go to the river and watch?
I go, gear in tow.
We get to the top of Granite and I finally conger up enough courage to tell Aubrie that I'm scared of the Numbers, flat out. S.C.A.R.E.D. Or maybe petrified, eh, call it what you will.
She understood. She knew where I was coming from and heard me when I told her. She asked what happened last time I ran it. I told her (she knew, she was there). She asked me what the worst thing that could happen to me if I didn't make a rapid, I looked at her and said, "I swim." She said, "exactly" and that's part of learning. She's right, I'm completely convinced to run Granite now, however, the Numbers is still being contimplated.
We run Granite with Little Pine Creek rapid. I don't flip. I sat forward and had verticle paddle strokes, right through the holes and swirrley water. The rest of the 4 miles was easy class 3, but the "easy" kind that still has your heart dropping about 60 ft per mile (about the gradiant of Granite) as you edge closer to triple drop. We pull into the eddy above Pine Creek and pull our boats out to portage. Aubrey, Amy (a girl we met at the put in), Michael and I walk Pine Creek and look at triple drop, a solid class IV rapid with three consecutive, river wide holes.
What the
fuck
is going through my head. It's big and the water after it, that's big too, and a little bit down stream from it, oh yeah, that would also be big water. Amy agrees to run it, Aubrey has before and Michael plans to run it too. For the first time, they didn't matter. I mattered more than anything and the thought of running it, scared me. I didn't want to but I wasn't sure if it was the fear that didn't want to, or the possibility that it was over my head. As I stood on a giant rock waiting to watch Mikey, Mark and Zach (Amy's partner) run Pine Creek, I asked for a sign.
The beautiful sun shown through the clouds just then. I still hadn't drug my boat down to the put in, so I figured screw the sign, I'm hiking. I asked Aubrey how far the Numbers put in was so I could hike and she said "a mile."
I "un-screwed" the sign and drug my boat down to the put in for triple drop. Before I knew what was going on I was in the water paddling towards the eddy and Mark signals me to follow him.
I am at the top of the triple drop and I get spun around backwards. I go over the first drop backwards and flip going into the second one. I'm upside down in this rapid, I roll the first time. I'm still backwards. Oh good, the "backwards" current hates me, fricken sweet, overboard. I roll. Still backwards but I'm over triple drop! I hit a small rock, into a hole, swallow half the river, choke, want to swim, shove my paddle to the surface, roll, FAST. (Thank God for textbook rolls).
Finally I get my boat spun around and see Mark in an eddy to the left, he calmly signals me to come that way and I do. I make the eddy, he tells me great job with a huge smile and I ask him if it counts, because I DID do most of it upside down.
Of course it counted.
My heart was beating about 14,000 ft per mile now. BUT I just conquered something so much bigger than a class IV rapid.
We run the rest down to the Numbers. It's more burley than Granite and considerably more burley than Brown's or the Upper Salt.
After running that, I decide to run Number 1 and if I swim, I decided, I'm pulling out and hiking it. I wasn't going to swim after that last battle roll boogie.
I ran all the Numbers straight through. I didn't flip until Number 4 and it was at the bottom in a funky hole. I rolled. We got out and scouted Number 5. I followed Mark, and if I could just follow Mark down the whole Number 5 rapid, like I had been following him in the other 4, I would be fine.
I went up to the top of the eddy and fairied a bit to follow him to just the right side of the rock in the middle of the river. I went down the drop paddling and leaning forward, I hit the second hole and paddled like hell. Went right through it. Mark turned around to tell me something and flipped.
Oh just fucking great, the person's line I'm following, well I just skirted to the right of his upside down body, fricken sweet. Oh wait though, I just scouted the line, I watched Mikey run it and I know which line to take, so I ran it just a little left of center and then on down the center.
Holy shit, I just ran Numbers, through Number 5, without swimming or flipping in Number 5. I was in the Mamba 7.5. I just did it and it included a solid class IV triple drop. Narley dudes.
Narley.
A conquered fear. A monumental day. A whole new boater.
<3
------
Saturday, June 28, 2008
| I've fallen so in love and I want to scream it from a mountain top. I'm so in love with everything I could explode into a zillion little pieces and float down on top of every single person and spread the love... Sooo... I'm in love with... My life, yup and that about sums it up. Lately, when people ask me about what I do and "who I've become" I don't even care to tell them. Not because I don't want to be friendly, but simply because I no longer identify with my job, my materialistic possessions or anything I do... Yes, I rock climb and kayak and mountain bike. But I'm not a rock climber, kayaker or mountain biker. And yes I serve as the Vice President of Services for Student Government but I'm not the VP of Services... and Yes... I could be considered a whole slew of "successful" things... but I'm so in love with me and my life that I have instead decided to wrap myself up in a whole slew of wonderful and be just that. just be. just be... ...liberated from limits. --------- Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Monday, September 10, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
|
bouncy
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