Tonic :: Body-Mind-Spirit

Let's just say that the undercover negative nancy clan (nnc) ganged up on me yesterday and my energy plummeted. (The NNC is in fact my mind!) I ate a piece of salmon because I was craving it. Turns out, my body no longer wants that type of protein. Tired and cranky set in. Then, I made some more other than the best decisions for my body and by the time I left work, I felt like nnc had kicked me in the gut.

The message lately has been to surrender to the universe completely and to TRUST. So, as I was driving home, instead of shoving the emotions of anger and hate and disgust deeper, I embraced them. I starred at them with my mind's eye and looked deep down in my heart. IT WAS SO UNCOMFY. It was like sitting on a pile of nails, glued on the ground sticking straight up.

When I got home, I was directed as to the kind of tonic to make for my body. It sounded disgusting.

But, I was firmly instructed to have faith & trust (two things that are not at all fluffy when you're actually doing it).

So, I pulled down the blender and added:
*Vitamineral Green
*Liquid Ginseng
*Raw cacao
*Tons of raw aloe gel (from the plant I found outside)
*Filtered water
*Fresh ginger
*Goji Berries

I blended it up & then I starred at it. The top foam looked like dirty fluff. I didn't want to drink it. But, when I finally tasted it, it was delicious! It was totally yummy. There wasn't even anything sweet in it but it just tasted chocolatey.
Physical tonic.

Then, I had to do something for my spirit. Last week I invested in a program called Angel Qi Gong by Dr. Nick Good. It is a Qi Gong practice that involves connecting spiritually to the magic of life. I had only done it one time before this and this time was exponetially more powerful than the first experience. I expect the power of the practice to continue growing.
Spiritual tonic.

Finally, I had to do something for my mind. In January of 2009, I bought one of the most powerful pschological reconditioning systems that exists (SUNPOP, www.successultranow.com). I read the book and never had the courage to start. Then, I started at the beginning of this year but never made it the full 21 days that you're meant to do the program.

So, last night, I plugged it in and began. Half way through (it's 1 hour 15 minutes), it cut me off and I didn't get to finish it, but just that bit totally changed my mental state.
Mind Tonic.

I ended with a yoga session and some breathing.

It was powerful to totally surrender my ego and embrace change.

I am in infinite gratitude.

Love. lovelovelovelove.

Sex. Part 2

A tantalizing theatrical performance by the heart.
Plays on stage, all engaged, hearts tender.
Feeling the rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm.
Your childess heart is dancing & spinning upon the stage...
Wild, pure, freedom courses through your veins...
Through your body beats the essence of life.
Into your mind, nothing...you are present.
Loved.
Accepted.
Here.

--

I brutally learned in the last 24 hours that my heart does not dance upon stage anymore, nor does it feel the rhythm of its own beat.

Sometime, long ago, I shut it off to feeling. Sometime, long ago, I was very hurt (and I don't remember the specific instance) and I decided that "No one will ever hurt me again." So, in order to ensure this, I shut down my heart chakra, I closed the door to most feeling and I began to live my life this way. The result? Very successful business endeavors, enough of an open heart to fool myself and others that I'm loving & lovable & then there are good friends, but still, at a distance. The inability to be with some romantically. Until 2 months ago, I still hugged people sideways, not letting my heart touch theirs-no chest to chest. The inability to get too close and the inability to finish things. Because what, what happens if I finish something? It ends. And endings can hurt. So, like I read my books & I clean my room & I start projects & businesses, I live my entire life...unfinished.

I've discovered this is a huge part of being a lover. A lover of life, of people, of the essences that makes us up. A lover of magic, lover of acceptance & abundance. A lover of another.

True, unadulterated, beautiful sacred sex is an art. It's becoming a lover, being a lover, embodying love. Not only an art form, it's an act that the heart has to be willing and ready to perform. Touching, caressing, breathing with, experiencing deep sensual eye contact with another person, in a moments whisper you are pure, you have surrendered. It is a time when you can be nowhere but here and nothing but present.

Sex. Is it right or wrong? Is the answer that black or white? People who are considered to be spiritually evolved are known not to engage. But why? Is it for purities purpose? To ensure that another energetic force is not let into their body for possibility of throwing off the energetic balance?

These questions have coursed through my mind for a long time. Recently, I was listening to a recording by Dr. Nick Good (www.successultranow.com), someone I consider highly evolved and he touched briefly on sexual intercourse. He noted that there have been periods in his life when he was "happily celibate" and times when he engaged in sexual activity. He noted that it is simply about acknowledging the other person, engaging in dialogue about what it means to have a sacred experience with them. What does it mean to totally honor and respect that person & be there, just with them fully in the moment. He then noted to have an inner dialogue about the duality between porn & sacred sexuality. Porn, being the lowest possible vibratory form of sexual existence, and sacred sexuality being the highest possible form of sexual existence. Why do they both exist? Simply because our universe can only function with duality? Night & day, hot & cold?

So, Sacred Sex/Sexuality to me is an experience.
Maybe research is involved www.tantra.com
Maybe a deeper understanding of yourself is it.
Maybe opening your heart chakra to the essence of life. Letting the magic presence that is all around us flow in will do it.
Or maybe it's none of these.
Maybe, it's sitting with yourself. For the first time ever or for the one millionth time. Exploring your body inch by inch, the entire thing from top to bottom. Slowly. What does your own hair smell like? What do your toenails look like? How does the top of your inner thighs look just below your butt? If you don't love these parts & if you can't be with them, you will never allow another to, nor will they want to. Explore. & Find a LOVE for yourself so deep inside.
(Please note, when you begin, you may feel intense emotions such as shame, guilt, strangeness, love, hate, etc. Be with it. Feel it. CRY.)

Below. This is the wall I had built around my heart. With a wall comes a shadow, a place for emotions to hide & pile up. A place for them to act as saboteurs on the stage. No longer will this be my reality. No longer will I leave a wall around my heart to push people away, to keep people out. Here and now, the wall is crumbling inside.





Love. LOVE. love. LoVe.

"And you're stronger and you're better and you're ready for whatever."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeLBUjjxjOU

I'm Sorry & I Love You.

I'm sorry and I love you

HO'OPONOPONO

By Joe Vitale

"Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete

ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. The

psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to

see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the

patient improved.

"When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How

could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best

self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn't make any

sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.

"However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had

used a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of

it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I

had to know more. I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean

that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my

hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that ay.

We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does--but that's

wrong.

"The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach

me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility. His name is Dr.

Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone

call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a

therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four

years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous.

Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or

simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against

the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant

place to live, work, or visit.

"Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office

and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work

on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

"'After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed

to walk freely,' he told me. 'Others who had to be heavily medicated were

getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being

released were being freed.' I was in awe. 'Not only that,' he went on,

'but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover

disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients

were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that

ward is closed.'

"This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: 'What were you

doing within yourself that caused those people to change?'

"'I was simply healing the part of me that created them,' he said. I

didn't understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your

life means that everything in your life- simply because it is in your

life--is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your

creation.

"Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is

one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is

quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility

for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way

experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means

that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you

experience and don't like--is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a

manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem

isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change

you.

"I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame

is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I

began to realize that healing for him and in ho 'oponopono means loving

yourself.

"If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want

to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you.

"I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing,

exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?

"'I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again,'

he explained.

"That's it?

"That's it.

"Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself,

and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.

"Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent

me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working

on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who

sent the nasty message.

"This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying,

'I'm sorry' and 'I love you,' I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I

was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating

the outer circumstance.

"Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for

his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action

to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying 'I love

you,' I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

"I later attended a ho 'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70

years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive.

He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve

myself, my book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when

they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

"'What about the books that are already sold and out there?' I asked.

"'They aren't out there,' he explained, once again blowing my mind with

his mystic wisdom. 'They are still in you.' In short, there is no out

there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with

the depth it deserves.

"Suffice It to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your

life, there's only one place to look: inside you. When you look, do it

with love."

More insight on Ho'oponopono:
http://www.ancienthuna.com/ho-oponopono.htm
http://www.huna.com/?gclid=CNbgytH1p6ACFRgsawodrn1TVA
http://hooponoponoworks.blogspot.com/

Love. Love. LOVE. love.