Sex. Part 2

A tantalizing theatrical performance by the heart.
Plays on stage, all engaged, hearts tender.
Feeling the rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm of the heart beat.
Rhythm.
Your childess heart is dancing & spinning upon the stage...
Wild, pure, freedom courses through your veins...
Through your body beats the essence of life.
Into your mind, nothing...you are present.
Loved.
Accepted.
Here.

--

I brutally learned in the last 24 hours that my heart does not dance upon stage anymore, nor does it feel the rhythm of its own beat.

Sometime, long ago, I shut it off to feeling. Sometime, long ago, I was very hurt (and I don't remember the specific instance) and I decided that "No one will ever hurt me again." So, in order to ensure this, I shut down my heart chakra, I closed the door to most feeling and I began to live my life this way. The result? Very successful business endeavors, enough of an open heart to fool myself and others that I'm loving & lovable & then there are good friends, but still, at a distance. The inability to be with some romantically. Until 2 months ago, I still hugged people sideways, not letting my heart touch theirs-no chest to chest. The inability to get too close and the inability to finish things. Because what, what happens if I finish something? It ends. And endings can hurt. So, like I read my books & I clean my room & I start projects & businesses, I live my entire life...unfinished.

I've discovered this is a huge part of being a lover. A lover of life, of people, of the essences that makes us up. A lover of magic, lover of acceptance & abundance. A lover of another.

True, unadulterated, beautiful sacred sex is an art. It's becoming a lover, being a lover, embodying love. Not only an art form, it's an act that the heart has to be willing and ready to perform. Touching, caressing, breathing with, experiencing deep sensual eye contact with another person, in a moments whisper you are pure, you have surrendered. It is a time when you can be nowhere but here and nothing but present.

Sex. Is it right or wrong? Is the answer that black or white? People who are considered to be spiritually evolved are known not to engage. But why? Is it for purities purpose? To ensure that another energetic force is not let into their body for possibility of throwing off the energetic balance?

These questions have coursed through my mind for a long time. Recently, I was listening to a recording by Dr. Nick Good (www.successultranow.com), someone I consider highly evolved and he touched briefly on sexual intercourse. He noted that there have been periods in his life when he was "happily celibate" and times when he engaged in sexual activity. He noted that it is simply about acknowledging the other person, engaging in dialogue about what it means to have a sacred experience with them. What does it mean to totally honor and respect that person & be there, just with them fully in the moment. He then noted to have an inner dialogue about the duality between porn & sacred sexuality. Porn, being the lowest possible vibratory form of sexual existence, and sacred sexuality being the highest possible form of sexual existence. Why do they both exist? Simply because our universe can only function with duality? Night & day, hot & cold?

So, Sacred Sex/Sexuality to me is an experience.
Maybe research is involved www.tantra.com
Maybe a deeper understanding of yourself is it.
Maybe opening your heart chakra to the essence of life. Letting the magic presence that is all around us flow in will do it.
Or maybe it's none of these.
Maybe, it's sitting with yourself. For the first time ever or for the one millionth time. Exploring your body inch by inch, the entire thing from top to bottom. Slowly. What does your own hair smell like? What do your toenails look like? How does the top of your inner thighs look just below your butt? If you don't love these parts & if you can't be with them, you will never allow another to, nor will they want to. Explore. & Find a LOVE for yourself so deep inside.
(Please note, when you begin, you may feel intense emotions such as shame, guilt, strangeness, love, hate, etc. Be with it. Feel it. CRY.)

Below. This is the wall I had built around my heart. With a wall comes a shadow, a place for emotions to hide & pile up. A place for them to act as saboteurs on the stage. No longer will this be my reality. No longer will I leave a wall around my heart to push people away, to keep people out. Here and now, the wall is crumbling inside.





Love. LOVE. love. LoVe.

"And you're stronger and you're better and you're ready for whatever."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeLBUjjxjOU